Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
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Top comments
Giants_rule 0
Damn thats smart on your sons part. $20 an hour to bang his gf.
jasmine1259 2
how did you not figure that out?
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Comments (156)
Rijii 0
Uh...okay. First off, if you needed a tutor you should have done the homework yourself to search out a good tutor. Secondly, why would you pay a girl around your son's age (I'm assuming she is) to tutor him? Did they say they were classmates or that they were at least friends? Why couldn't she just help him out on her own without you shoveling out $20 bucks? WHY WOULD YOU AGREE TO PAY SOMEBODY TO DO A JOB WITHOUT KNOWING THE CREDENTIALS/IF THEY WERE DOING THE JOB? Because I'm assuming you just let them go right up to his room instead of in your sight to make sure that the hour was well spent? YDI for being retarded.
jasmine1259 2
how did you not figure that out?
Rijii 0
#2 - Yeah, being offensive was kind of the point. Idiot. Oh wait, I'm sorry. That wasn't very nice of me. Did I hurt your feelings over the interwebz? GUYS, THE FML FORUMS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS! TAKE EVERYTHING YOU READ/HEAR ON THIS SITE VERY, VERY SERIOUSLY!
redbluegreen 41
I think someone missed the whole point of the kid's response. And possibly needs to get laid.
Rijii 0
Not that I honestly think the OP is an actual idiot, I just think it was a really stupid move on their part. You're not going to get any sympathy from me personally when the situation could have been handled better and it was YOUR fault that it wasn't. I also just lashed out at #2 because I feel it's pointless and stupid to tell somebody over an internet forum (that shouldn't be taken seriously in the first place) not to call someone a name because "it's offensive". I didn't drop any racial slurs, I said he was BEING retarded. As in, not actually retarded himself, just did an act of retardation in this one particular example. I swear to God if somebody replies to this saying, "Well it's insulting to people who are actually mentally handicapped", I will e-slap you. People with mental handicaps sometimes do not very bright things because they can't help or control it. This was one of those situations, except the OP could have controlled it, so in this moment he was "being retarded". Jeez, you people need to get off the internet sometime to enjoy life so you can understand when and when not to take things so seriously.
redbluegreen 41
Mmm. You took it pretty seriously, considering it's just a comment. But there's always other words you can use. Using swear words and disabilities to describe something tells me, personally, that someone doesn't really exercise their vocabulary, so they choose to use something that someone has no control over, for example, a disability, to describe something bad. I am done. Reply as much as you feel the need to. I'm not reading it.
Rijii 0
#9 - What does getting or not getting any ass have to do with anything that either myself or #2 posted (because your reply was not directed at anybody and you referring to somebody as "kid" doesn't clarify, either)? "Oh man. I would totally be nicer in this post if only I had a dick inside my vag". ...Seriously, what? Do you not think before you speak in real life, too?
Rijii 0
#15 - Oh shut the hell up and get off your ******* high horse. Would it have been better if I just said, "YDI for being dumb"? "YDI for not thinking things clearly"? "YDI for doing a stupid thing"? What ******* difference does it make? Turning around to insult me, my intelligence, and my vocabulary (or "lack thereof") for using one particular word doesn't make you look any better than me. And this is just me guessing, but I highly doubt you're not going to see this post because you're this "holier than thou, ooh look at me, I'm mature and ending it here and now" bullshit. If you weren't interested nor cared what I wrote or thought, you wouldn't have responded with anything in the first place.
pwnrzero 0
anyone notice there is no number 1 on this fml? why does that happen? and also, this is a YDI
Puolukka 4
I'm actually rather wondering if they told OP that they were only making out and not studying as well or if the OP just assumed it. Because if the son really is bad at school and would require tutoring, then it should be in his girlfriend's interest to help him out...if she's really interested in HIM and not just his looks or whatever.
CFR 0
Well assuming she knew what she was talking about, #38. Some guys tend to date girls who are dumber than door nails just because they're hot or whatever.
zrjones 0
$20 is a little high per hour for tutoring. ydi. next time hire a girl that has moles and more facial hir than your son. than see if he still wants to **** his tutor
fantasmagoria 0
How is that expensive, over here tutors get $40/hour
Simplicity1 0
$20 is actually pretty cheap for a tutor. & Btw, OP your son was probably doing a lot more than making out. Kids these days, I know. So is your son's girl a lot older than him?
FarSide 23
well, he's learning. Wished my mom would have paid $20 an hour so I could have a ****-***** tutor.
pozmc 0
why do people say kids these days? like it's our fault, the older generations have exposed us to sex and stuff like that through their movies and etc. and according to my mom, stuff like this happened when she was in highschool, and when my grandma was too... plus, if i was hired to tutor my boyfriend I would actually help him because I care about him, I help him with his English papers all the time. unless the dad caught them making out and saw that his grades weren't improving, he shouldn't assume anything, but should get to know the girl and set some boundaries...
agentx52 13
He's lucky that's all they did.
Stunt_fml 5
That's probably the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Thanks.
MadPercussion 0
this is classic
FaustXIII 0
Your son has game. Well done, kid.
were_giraffe 2
i'm giving this a ydi for not knowing who your son was dating
brinky09 0
Agreed. Seriously, parents. Keep up with this shiz.
cl9595 0
wow
Giants_rule 0
Damn thats smart on your sons part. $20 an hour to bang his gf.
tenkenshi 2
As opposed to being able to do it for free on his own time because she's his gf.... yeah.
wazdog 4
@tenkenshi: The son isn't the one paying. If anything he probably GETS a cut out of the $20 to make out with his gf. He wins, you fail.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#12: He's not the one paying her, his dad is.
baby_love 0
lmaoo this is pretty funny and smart of your son
yourkiddingright_fml 0
Don't know if you're Mom or Dad but I hope you kicked his ass!
Nakedsquirrel 5
If you're one of those parents that doesn't let their son have girls over or go on dates for exactly that reason, your boy needs a high five. Restrictions like that ONLY make the carnal urges worse, and of course he's going to cheat the system in any way he can.
shirvon100 0
Amen my mom does exactly what your talking about and i have learned so many tricks to get around it
Okie7123 0
Aside from this being 1) Hilarious and 2) Increasingly clever as the son's potential age declines...this kid is going to run the next billion dollar Ponzi scheme. I'm calling it now.