Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML
Today, I put my phone on top the car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Told myself not to forget it. Then I drove away, and it flew off the top of the car on the freeway. It got ran over. FML
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML
Today, after getting out the car and closing the door, I began walking and slipped on some black ice. In the moment of panic, I grabbed onto my car wing mirror. Luckily, I didn't hit the deck. Unluckily, the wing mirror broke off. FML
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
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Top comments
nash1991 20
Epitome of irony. Sorry, that sucks!
Welshite 40
Oh my God, you must be a really bad driver if your guardian angel gave up and called it quits.
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Comments (117)
RockN 10
I guess its time to take some driving lessons OP
porcupineattack1 5
Sometimes, when i am alone, i pull out my pockets, whip out my penis, and pretend im an elephant.
EmazingLight 9
Dafuq did I just read o.O
hatesfate 6
If you're that easily startled you shouldn't be driving IMHO
Driveshaft 5
Haha, wish I had seen your comment before I said the same thing!
hatesfate 6
You, 12, and I. :)
Driveshaft 5
If you're that jumpy, you shouldn't be driving. The charm was trying to save the rest of us.
olpally 33
Was the guardian angel charm okay? ;) damn, talk about bad luck...
giggitygoo12 7
Lol favored
DocBastard 40
Why the hell was it in your sun visor? You're probably that same idiot I see with 18 deodorant trees hanging from your rear-view mirror, which is probably just as distracting.
Psych101 9
It sounds like the same general idea as the song "Jesus Take the Wheel." In both cases, realistically speaking, the driver is more likely to crash. One by taking her hands off of the wheel, OP by having a charm distract him.
Welshite 40
Oops, sorry Doc. I didn't know it bothered you that badly; though you have to admit my car does smell nice.
Warden1986 16
Good thing he does not have a air fresher, hanging from his rear view mirror. Or perhaps that end up with the same conclusion.
EpicBlondie89 19
Doc, you reminded me of a blonde joke. Swerving to miss a tree but it was an air freshener.
kittytub 12
it is distracting and also against the law. my friend got a ticket for having said deodorant trees on his rear-view mirror.
Inheritance 10
Doc I never could figure out what your picture is.. Explain?
chippa 24
It's a foot.
Inheritance 10
Oh okay I see it now, thanks!
evilplatypus 39
52 - Yes, because every city, state and country has the same exact laws.
rvguy 2
And that's why women shouldn't drive.
Welshite 40
Hmm, your comment might have merit if OP was actually a woman. Nope, never mind, your comment is completely sexist and uncalled for.
Psych101 9
32- Nah, he's got a beer as his picture. He's probably really cool, so it doesn't matter what he says.
evilplatypus 39
OP is a guy. SMH
DocBastard 40
*And that's why idiots shouldn't comment. Fixed that for you, rvguy. Free of charge. No no, don't thank me. Edit: Oops, thanks for moderating that, mods.
Enslaved 38
I carry a "Pyrat Rum" lucky charm on my key ring. It claims to protect fortune tellers and bartenders. It's fun to pretend that it works but no amount of luck can overcome bad driving. You should have made sure loose items were secured.
TheDrifter 24
Reminds me of the idiot last week that loaded his truck cab full of boxes and crashed when they fell on him. Common sense just isn't as common as its name implies.
deathtothepix 26
Should you really be driving at all if something that simple scares you?