Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
Today, I got a call from the county’s courthouse where I used to live saying I was being sued for fraud and expected in court to defend myself. Apparently, my ex took a loan out in my name and now I get to pay $2300 worth of legal fees and restitution to this loan company. FML
Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
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Top comments
revan546 24
'Murica
Wizardo 34
The only thing constipated here is his bloody brain, drop him and the case.
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Comments (91)
dead_insects 18
the bill was so high it blocked him up! ^_~
laya_fml 26
As their lawyer you should advise them to take a laxative
Amaraaaaaa 8
Well ain't that a load of shit
olpally 33
Oh god... Sounds like a Walmart customer to me. Lol. Can't believe people are this stupid.
alycion 39
Yup. The idiots are taking over.
LazyDaisy42 4
What does Walmart have to do with someone's education / intelligence? I'm working on my masters degree and I still shop at Walmart.
mystashisgone 6
I work at a retail store slightly competitive to Walmart... And if I had 1$ for every question that someone had who decided to interrupt me pulling a 1000lb pallet just for the answer that yes it's less than 10 feet from you, why did u waste my gd time and energy, then I could have retired at the age of 40. I can see where the Walmart comment came from. Some people are idiots.
NeatNit 33
Hey, be fair. Supermarkets are confusing! (in all fairness though, it can be hard finding what you want. there are so many things and only one of them is what you're looking for, you might just miss it if you don't know exactly where it is.)
Bano360 25
#103 I'm from Ireland but from what I gather, Walmart has a lot of stupid customers. I work in retail too. I'm not generalising all customers but there are so many stupid ones that completely outweigh the smart ones.
cocacola999 27
Let him sue you. I doubt he'd find a lawyer to defend his case...
TomPusslicker 21
Or better yet, offer to take that case yourself for free just because of how ridiculous that would be.
Albinsabu2005 0
Lets just say that the op wins the second case in court. Does he actually win or lose?
seniorchang 16
Were your bowels filled with compassion for his malady or did you find his story unmoving?
phoenix4490 5
Obviously the vast majority of people don't understand the legal and ethical obligations you have to your clients as an attorney. That being said, from one lawyer to another, I'm sincerely sorry that you're going to have to represent this moron, and hope that this case gets resolved as quickly as possible.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
You're a lawyer?
happylawyer 16
My dear, I believe you are not a good lawyer, if you are a lawyer. Every lawyer can ask the Court to waive his/her responsibility to represent a client if there is a good reason for it. I would submmit my writing together with the copy of that letter. A client threatening to sue you, is a honest and fair reason to stop representing him/her. And the lawyer can, also, ask the court to order the payment for the work already done, if any.
freshko21 6
Well, some people really like their right to be constipated OP.
jmcr 27
This is what happens when ppl pull shit out of their ass and try to defend their right to being so criminally stupid...
ManicGypsy 22
What a shitty thing for him to do.
chosenblades 8
I don't think he is very shitty at the moment.