Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Genius
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Silver linings
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years, with whom I was hoping to have a future, to talk to him about it, all he said was, "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
How could you?
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Selfish
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
The second coming
Today, my husband is trying to divorce me because I’m pregnant, even though I’ve been told all my adult life that I’m infertile. I’ve never even had a period. He’s blaming me for lying to him because he never wanted kids. He even tried to claim it must be another guy's baby. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
Top comments
sykokitti 15
He's an idiot
MrSarcasmic 10
see if the sight of you walking away is "sexy" enough for said sperm
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Comments (92)
catwho 18
Sorry to hear OP. Hopefully he calms down to talk reasonably soon. Slow sperm luckily is one of the easier issues to get around.
love_me_electric 20
My boyfriend found out he was infertile last month, except his sperm don't move. At all. At least slow sperm there's still a small chance, right?
ViviMage 40
Sperm are the tiniest cells a human makes. They need to whip their tails to travel into the Fallopian tubes to locate an egg. And if sperm get trapped the acidity of the female body can kill them.
MiloBear 11
My uncle is medically sterile because most of his sperm are infertile, and the ones that are fertile are deformed, like no tails and two heads. He adopted three children in his first marriage and then when my aunt came into his life they decided not to use contraceptives since he's infertile. Surprise surprise, my aunt got pregnant and my cousin was born ten days after their wedding. Doctors say men are infertile if their sperm count is under 20 000 or some similar number. It only takes one sperm.
horneyhic 15
Yea but Invetro would fix motility issues
Black_Cat_13 7
Fire back with "It's just nature's way of trying to prevent one more stupid person from breeding." Then point out if the two of you really want kids, there are fertility treatments, sperm banks and even adoption to consider.
noreallywhat 17
that is it I seriously think before I enter my next relationship I am going to make them take an I.Q. test
horneyhic 15
125
Senseless_487 29
I don't think there's a more enjoyable way to kill someone.
NiteShayd 10
Sounds like his sperm isn't the only thing that's slow....
chillnhill 24
Wow, thankfully it doesn't look like he will be propagating so at least he will not pass on his low IQ to anther generation! Oh, and OP, leave the insensitive moron before you waste any more your life.
worldclassrager 41
That's rude...but all he wants to do is blame it on you since he is saddened...
LarissaAllen 10
Sounds like natures way of telling you not to procreate with this fella.
Ferritefox 2
To all the people saying he's an idiot or stupid, he's probably not. He more than likely feels emasculated since he can't produce children and is looking for an excuse to blame someone else. No, it's not right for him to do that, but neither is it right to insult his intelligence.