Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years, with whom I was hoping to have a future, to talk to him about it, all he said was, "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my husband is trying to divorce me because I’m pregnant, even though I’ve been told all my adult life that I’m infertile. I’ve never even had a period. He’s blaming me for lying to him because he never wanted kids. He even tried to claim it must be another guy's baby. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
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Top comments
sykokitti 15
He's an idiot
MrSarcasmic 10
see if the sight of you walking away is "sexy" enough for said sperm
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Comments (92)
vintaqe 28
I think it's time for a divorce ..
guci101 14
Yo mama so ugly that sperm slows down just to avoid getting too close to her
FlamingoAlchemy 4
If he's that stupid, he really shouldn't be procreating anyway.
kuma32792 2
See this is when you get him good and aroused and ready to go. The you break out the hand cuffs and ask him to let you do all the work. and after he is part of the bed posts just leave him there while you go on about your business. Obviously you remind him why he is there.
Buckd17 7
Slow sperm make slow children so its probably for the best
darkfireflame 15
Kick Speedy Gonzalez to the curb.
WhackTheJackal 22
He is probably in denial, if you were told you could never have children related to you at all, wouldn't you be in denial?
valouette_fml 11
What an asshole, you deserve better FYL, and FHL for being such an infertile, arrogant prick
ErinShannon 27
Men and their god damm egos.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
that's... not how sperms work...