Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years, with whom I was hoping to have a future, to talk to him about it, all he said was, "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML
Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I are having some fertility problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said, "Mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, my husband is trying to divorce me because I’m pregnant, even though I’ve been told all my adult life that I’m infertile. I’ve never even had a period. He’s blaming me for lying to him because he never wanted kids. He even tried to claim it must be another guy's baby. He’s an idiot. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
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Top comments
sykokitti 15
He's an idiot
MrSarcasmic 10
see if the sight of you walking away is "sexy" enough for said sperm
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Comments (92)
interesting33 37
I don't know how true this is but apparently coffee makes sperm move faster.
WildWonder808 14
Smh what a dick... a slow dick
Poetaster 10
Perhaps if he were better endowed, the sperm would be deposited in closer proximity to there destination?
ragemuch 3
That's messed up, bottom line is he is broken and that's that.
ambitiousnygrl 17
His sperm isn't the only thing that's slow.
Ryan8878 21
Are people here sarcasm deficient? Noor, your comments were hilarious. Obviously sarcastic for people that have seen you comment before. FML must have lots of new faces.
ManInTheMachine 20
Apparently. Everyone knows Noor is always joking or sarcastic. Much like perdix, but with less sexual humor and lowering of sunglasses.
Omniprism 15
Sounds like he's very loving and caring and supportive.
Kathts7 12
I don't think you should leave him... But that was a really mean thing to say! I feel so sorry for you
imtooshy 18
I'm not saying he's justified in his behaviour. I'm sure this news was devastating for him to hear. Have a talk with him but go easy on him as well OP, I think he needs some reassurance. Good luck :-)