Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sarah2144 14
I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.
Gesula 24
I'm so so sorry
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
thereallg 8
I just found out i have that too and I'm allergic to gluten
JesterJack734 11
I'm so sorry, dude. FYL. FYL big time
Nowigetit 12
I would cry too
Nikitasue92 7
I went through the same thing when they told me I'm severely lactose intolerant. The only thing I could'nt give up is cheese.
openminded8 17
CHEESEUS help you... so sorry
allplayedout 20
UC blows I feel your pain. At first the diet you have to do seems impossible but it gets easier once you've gone awhile without eating that shit and realize you're not as miserable anymore. Good luck you're gonna make it
kesht1996 12
That's so sad. Cheese is delicious
leonhart47 6
OP, I suffer too, but the lactose intolerance doesn't affect all, try little bits and see what happens. As someone who discovered the hard way that I can't have things with a high lactose content, I have found my way around it. Hard cheeses and extra mature, goats cheese, yogurts etc, actually contain very little lactose because the longer something is left to ferment the less lactose there is. I regulary eat mozzarella without issues but a slice of american chedder and I'm throwing up. Theres downloadable lists of lactose contents of various dairy products on the internet. Hope this helps!
42069666 18
not even wensleydale?!
jordaandanielle 17
cheese is life. truly sorry.