Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor, expecting him to tell me my cancer was gone. Instead, he told me I will need a colostomy, which means all my favorite food will be replaced with yogurt and parsley. No tabbouleh, as onions would make the colostomy bag stink. FML
Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML
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Top comments
sarah2144 14
I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.
Gesula 24
I'm so so sorry
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Comments (118)
cowgirlupCA 4
That's my life!
juliaafaulkner 15
Pizza.. Omg no pizza?!??
DisturbedSRT8 17
Perfectly acceptable reason to cry! I'd cry too if I was told I could no longer eat cheese!
ally8 21
Yeah I'd cry too... What's life without cheese?!
kkruth 2
So sorry to hear that. My brother is going through the same thing, and he can't eat dairy or glutton. Hopefully it will go into remission for you soon ^_^
warhorse465 6
My 12 year old daughter has that disorder. She was diagnosed at 3. There are things you can do to minimize the disorder.
bunnylady08 13
I have the same disease. I started taking Humira injections weekly and since then, I can eat dairy products again.
CryoShock 14
Cheese is on pizza. Therefore, no more pizza.
Lunacy91 7
Good luck! Autoimmune disease sucks :( I have only recently recovered from auto-immune related gastroparesis and after 3 years of barely being able to eat I now have absolutely ZERO self-control when it comes to food. Hopefully your condition will improve ?
Driv3r001 8
...No more pizza? :'c