Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML
Today, I thought I saw my ex in a crowded café, so I ducked behind a counter to avoid them. It turns out that I was hiding from a random stranger, while the barista thought I was trying to steal muffins. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML
Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
What an asshole. Even if you were the ex, that's a dick move.
thevelociraptor 31
Dumb ass. Sorry Op, people should always check before pouring coffee on others.
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Comments (65)
ChristinePi 36
That's awful. He could have burned you which is assault. I hope you're okay OP.
AhmadTarhini 8
No wonder she became an "ex" this man is ****** up !
NightKat 25
Wow. I'm sorry that happened OP
tdawg91 17
No wonder she left him!!!
WitEluded 13
You look like you owe me a new outfit... From all sides
FedoraGuy 15
If the coffee was hot, wouldn't that be considered assault?
RebeccaRFT 18
I love how when there is a Break Up fml everyone tells them to key their car or kick them in the nuts and generally make them physically hurt but now once a guy actually did hurt his ex all of you are like "Gasp! How horrible and wrong of you!"
shepp626 11
Uh... she isn't his ex. Physical violence is never OK for either gender, and harming random strangers in a pathetic attempt to "get back" at an ex is ridiculous. It is in fact both horrible, and wrong of him.
marigoldcobain 21
They don't actually want them to kick them in the nuts or key their car. This guy actually poured coffee down a random person's back and you're trying to protect him???
drrobotnik1 18
A perfect example that regardless of the FML, people will ALWAYS vote YDI in some number.
NamelessFace 22
Yeah I don't think anyone genuinely thinks OP deserved it. Not even the guy in the FML would!
Danielvera212 4
Okay that sucks but how is this her fault? In anyway
ivylife24 6
The guy who did this has an fml in the moderation section :P
RobinGoodfellow 47
No, he doesn't. Idiots write those all the time for attention, in the hopes of getting a laugh.