Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML
Today, I thought I saw my ex in a crowded café, so I ducked behind a counter to avoid them. It turns out that I was hiding from a random stranger, while the barista thought I was trying to steal muffins. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML
Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
What an asshole. Even if you were the ex, that's a dick move.
thevelociraptor 31
Dumb ass. Sorry Op, people should always check before pouring coffee on others.
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Comments (65)
Jenniesaurus 14
That guy needs a cup of coffee pouring down the front of his trousers.
DaeccaD 5
I know a good few people in Limburg. even lived in Heerlen and landgraaf for a while. Never met an idiot like that though. fyl op. hope the burns aren't too big on your back.
YourOpinionSucks 22
The ex must have done something seriously ****** up for someone to waste their coffee like that. It's like liquid crack, but seriously OP, that sucks, sorry that had to happen to you.
Morning_fml 22
Or some people are just too immature to handle a break up and decide to justify their anger by doing something irrational and indecent.
YourOpinionSucks 22
Either way, it would have been hilarious to watch
mmazzaa 16
"Oops wrong person hehe" *runs away*
i8cake 12
I am pretty sure that constitutes assault. Sorry, Ms.! Hope karma catches up with him big time!
telli164 30
That man has some issues!
Space_Teddy 29
I live in the Hague, and even here people dont do that to eachother. In the worst case you could go to the cops I guess. not that they would actually do anything ? hope you're alright
travellingfun 18
who runs away after nearly burning someone with coffee, some messes up people out there.
brandoneyez1 25
He needed to build a bridge and get over it . Be glad your not his ex. The past is over why create new wounds.
Smooth_Criminal 24
^you mean revenge after breakups.