Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML
Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
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Top comments
muhaidib 2
what the ****?
Wheredidgrungego 12
On the bright side, orgasms are cheaper than rings!
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Comments (130)
mintcar 10
Is that the /only/ reason why you proposed to her?
Prolusive 5
I wouldn't think it would be that case.
BogJuan 5
lol @91 & @92
Feras90 0
what else do u want .. hold her tight nvr let go = )
OtherHighlander 0
That's what happens when you feed into the misconception that men don't know to get women off. Poor girl might not even know what she's missing.
KingDingALing 9
Oh Jesus Christ! Another one?! First it was nipple-tweaking, then nipple-fiddling, and now nipple-kayaking. What's next? Nipple-tickle? *Sigh* Ok, listen up a-hole because I'm not going to say this twice. Shove a stick up your ass. I just learned that Theodore Roosevelt did something calle the Big Stick Diplomacy. I'm changing that to Big Stick Up The A-hole. As a matter of fact, I'm so tired of telling people like you to shove a stick up your ass that you should shove the stick DOWN your THROAT so that you can choke and die a slow, painful death. Maybe then, you'll learn your goddamn lesson. Jesus Christ... There, now that I got that out of my system, I can continue writing my next speech that is based on nipples for the next guy that screams "first!"
ahhitsjessi88 0
welllll did she say yes...?
Zebidee 9
Or did she say "yes.. Yes... YES... YES!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"?
soldier4life_88 0
ha ha ha ha YES!!!! ;-D
Foxy_On_Fire 21
um no duh
sallen0046 4
How do you confuse the "I want you to marry me" talk with the "I want you to make me ******" talk? Your first clue should have been that you shouldn't need anyone to tell you that you need to give them a ring. If she feels it necessary to tell you that you need to invest more in the relationship, it's pretty obvious you're a selfish lover. Buy a book or get a how-to video or something.
deputy_g 5
it's her damn fault for being vague and you for not satisfying her
kportal69 5
I think this is all her fault. girls demand way too much in bed. they just lay there and expect to get their rocks off. or they try thinking vaginal orgasms all the time. which doesn't happen all the time. plus girls fake it and if she doesn't relay the message shes not getting off or how to get her off then how would he know. $100 he isn't psychic.
purple_sarah88 0
It's not all her fault, it takes two to tango, but apart from that good points.
sallen0046 4
Just because you're so pathetic no woman you sleep with wants to contribute, don't put all women in the just "lie there" category. They've been together long enough for him to think it's a good idea to propose, she shouldn't have to give him a play-by-play, he should have figured out long before now that he wasn't cutting it. It's no wonder you wind up with lazy sexual partners, you obviously don't pay attention either.
zivlaks 0
nah, kportal is right...
shuzuko 2
Yeah... speaking as a woman, here, I'm gonna have to say it's her fault. Most guys are unaware that they're not pleasing a woman in bed because she's faking, not because he's a dolt. You can't expect men to be psychic. If they've been together long enough for him to propose and she's just now saying something, she's definitely a selfish bitch. Girls, quit being *****. If you're not getting satisfied, tell your man and teach him how to do it. Maybe if you actually participate in your sex life instead of being a passive observer, you might get a little more pleasure out of it.
Iskaria 0
79 I agree, completely. I'm sure there are plenty women who are the 'lie there and take it' type, the same way there are men who are the 'hump you like a dog on a soft toy' type. These people merely suck at sex. Not everyone is good at cooking, driving, etc, sex is no different. I do however think you really need a sexual equal to be in a good relationship, if one of you sucks the other is going to suffer for it. I kind of pity that you two fellas think that way, to me it just says you've never had a really good screw. For shame!
kingfin88 0
your a douche
lolwutdino 9
How is he a douche?
AjaxF 0
For thinking he could just marry a woman she's never given an ******. . .****** first then she "may" wanna marry him, when/if she wants to.
Prolusive 5
You're*
BadMofeelius 0
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
burnz10 0
Men should be thanking women every day for getting any and doing everything they can to keep women happy. That means orgasms. Among other things.