Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
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Top comments
JE553 9
Quality kid with quality humor clearly
oh_merde 11
What a dick!
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Comments (67)
buckdharma 38
You'll need a string trimmer and a leaf blower to finish the chore. First give it a good whacking, followed by a nice *******.
bjdog98 9
Ran *
vintagebeare989 1
I think *run* away is perfectly fine. The structure of the sentence, "He had.... *run* away" makes it grammatically correct. In fact, "He had... *ran* away" sounds ungainly.
TheAngryPrincess 3
Please tell me you didn't pay him beforehand. You got trolled.
kpc2424 13
Sounds like you got the shaft...
theboy13 13
Talk to hits parents
watermelonn_fml 1
Screw them... It's a nice thought thogh
thumbsdwn2mylife 9
At least the kid is creative lol he has some kind of talent
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol that kid has a sense of humour.
varlso 8
All the comments here are way too funny. top class puns . im out of my leauge
harryb1963 3
That is pretty creative. Now you just need to get your weed eater out and whack the penis off.