Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
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Top comments
JE553 9
Quality kid with quality humor clearly
oh_merde 11
What a dick!
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Comments (67)
wisericky 12
Just a penis, no balls? What a ripoff.
Welshite 40
That's an extra $15.
dlowry004 14
I can't ever draw a penis without balls(No ****). Haha
MEM0817 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Superbad! "And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. " Drawing dicks... Whether it be on paper or in your neighbors yard.
Champignon_fml 19
Why would you pay a kid in advance for any task?
imwagdc 15
Not all kids are bad you know...
crisanba 18
That is a legit arugement
ShadowNinja445 12
Why would you pay anyone in advance for anything? Its not just kids these days.
esines 9
It never said they paid in advance. Maybe OP's just bein a sour puss about havin a schlong in the lawn. I wonder if he used the cut grass for pubes
perdix 31
Give it a bris and have a nice party!
Reesienpiper 4
Sounds like you should up the ante... more than a 10 buck job!
NatalieOntheTram 11
Why is it that boys are so obsessed with drawing penises?
ILoveMyArm 15
Yes, I can't tell you the amount of pages in a textbook that I flipped through and saw the notorious drawing. My "favorite" is when a person in the book has their mouth open and others take it as a convenient spot to put a penis. I call for a redistribution of revised textbooks that contain no pictures!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#38- 4 years ago (my freshman year of high school), my best friend and I would go through the pictures of the health textbooks. They'd been taken in the 80's so it was even more hilarious that they had been "sexually vandalized." Or maybe we were just immature :P
mosquito19 14
because it's much more difficult to draw a pussy. it'll just look like a oddly shaped flower
crisanba 18
I'd smack the shit out of him after I caught up to him
imwagdc 15
I guess he pulled the prank on the wrong person. Some people would find it funny and some would not. He should choose his victims more carefully next time.
_DoubleJ_ 8
hahha wat a genius kid!
PETRONAS_fml 10
He's your neighbour so you can get him later and Sue him for not making the balls ;)