Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML
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Top comments
EclipseCandy6 24
You should kick him in HIS berries
IniestaRox 21
Well, that was berry meanest.
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Comments (71)
IniestaRox 21
Well, that was berry meanest.
wtffml1979 22
Everyone berry well knew there would be a pun to start off the comments
TheRugMan 17
That was the last straw for that neighbor
Ms_ValS 27
Maybe he will get sick from not washing them first. You can always hope OP
e_is_for_eli 12
cccccccombo breaker! but I agree, you should plant one right in his face OP.
tuxedoandex 28
he ****** up. you never steal strawberries from a child.
jtthegr8 26
At least he didn't tear the plant out of the ground. My neighbor did that to me when I was 7 with my strawberry plant. Either way this is a terrible deed by any person
EclipseCandy6 24
You should kick him in HIS berries
citrusfruit 12
That wasn't berry nice at all
ColonelCusswords 24
3 minutes late bud
hoosiergirl94 31
Because that's what mature adults do
keiNan_fml 35
do they?
wtffml1979 22
I would've said something negative but you're absolutely hot and well, just couldn't do it.
seriouslygrowup 11
I'm a hot girl too. buy me dinner and drinks please. I need more free stuff from horny men.
leogachi 15
That username though.
Benmantha 31
Damn, I need to give you more than just one thumb up, #12!
MDoremis 38
Apparently attractive women are seen as having an inability to use sarcasm. Way to go, guys.
sstahpp 33
If there's free food involved I can be hot,too.
uselessfag 18
V mature
wtffml1979 22
Go to the store and buy a few boxes of strawberries and smash them on his front door.
ColonelCusswords 24
Take away "front door" and add "ugly ass face"
myoukei 31
But that's such a waste ;-; I'm sure op's daughter is the one who needs that box a bit more....
shadowshalf 8
He'll probably still eat them.
gracehi 33
Mow his lawn into the shape of a **** and balls. He won't be able to fix it because he evidently doesn't have a lawn mower.
VeganDarkLight 31
Brilliant idea, but OP doesn't have a functioning lawn mower either :/
ColonelCusswords 24
He doesnt either tho
gracehi 33
It says it's still "broken," not that it's inoperable. It might just run very poorly or have a broken aesthetic part. Although you may be right. Broken could mean inoperable too. Still, it would be worth it to get it fixed or get a new lawn mower that much faster for the sake of sweet, sweet, revenge.
teentee401 37
It says broken in the past. So it's possible that the neighbor broke one and OP bought a new one.
gracehi 33
The user name says "it's still broken." :'(
booze_n_bitches 37
Send your daughter round to kick the strawberries out of him. She's a minor, she doesn't know what she's doing ;)
ColonelCusswords 24
If shes too small to kick strawberries out of a person, give her a baseball bat
ZombieSazza 34
When he's not at home you could mow a shape into his garden. A penis or some rude words.