Today, and for the past week, my boyfriend joined me on my walks. He's recently gotten into photography and is now intent on tracking down a rare bird that he never sees but always hears. I don't have the heart to tell him that it's the sound of my thighs rubbing together. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today my boyfriend left his camera with me. I wanted to see the recent photos we took at the park next to my house. I scrolled through and found pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend the weekend before at the same park, posing under the same tree we had taken a photo. We've been together for a year. FML
Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML
Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a drive while he did some errands. I waited for him in the car with my bare feet on his dashboard, like I usually do. As I waited, I noticed a woman blatantly taking pictures of my feet from across the lot, and she winked at me. I cowered in my seat until he came back. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend found some noise-canceling headphones that he forgot he had. Once he adjusted them and put them on, he sat down and asked me to tell him about my day. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Aw, I think this is actually cute that he thinks it's a rare bird. I think you need to gently tell him that the "rare bird noises" are actually coming from you. You'll both have a good laugh about it afterwards.
RichardPencil 32
If he goes down there and investigates thoroughly, you'll be ... *wait on it * ravin'!
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Comments (18)
Lobby_Bee 18
Woodpecker?
Burle 17
Not having the heart to do something means it's something you feel would be unkind hard-hearted, not because you're ashamed of it
RichardPencil 32
If he goes down there and investigates thoroughly, you'll be ... *wait on it * ravin'!
Glowworm56 27
Aw, I think this is actually cute that he thinks it's a rare bird. I think you need to gently tell him that the "rare bird noises" are actually coming from you. You'll both have a good laugh about it afterwards.
davecross 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Somebody needs to hit the gym!!!!
Demon_of_Light 27
For most women, thighs rub together while walking at a healthy weight. Thigh gaps are often physically impossible to achieve. Believe it or not, women have all kinds of muscles and bones and things that they have to fit inside of their legs, and that tend to give them what we in the business call volume.
Isa_fml 20
Somebody needs to shut the **** up! Hint: you. It's you.
Angie Patterson 5
aww , just tell.him it a rare but friendly birdie call the skin rubber or thigh between.
sambmjmdjj 9
A different pair of pants will probably stop the noise.
ThrottleJockey 36
Sounds like the thighs the limit with his hobby.
Regulate 21
Sounds like the kind of guy you could be near, make a noise and stare into a tree and him be convinced that there's a cat up there. Like a dog. Your boyfriend is like a dog.
dmosley33 6
wow thick thighs sweet prize ig