Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML
Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
His future doesn't seem very bright anyway.
ollie179 21
Now look here you young wippersnaps. Alcohol is bad ok? So let me take these and... SMACK!
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Comments (116)
Freeze_fml 17
His future doesn't seem very bright anyway.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Unless he joins the UFC and cleans up his act a bit. He handed someone that we can assume is considerably older than they were their ass in one swing.
MagicGiraffe 12
Some teacher you are, that last sentence is a grammar catastrophe!
MagicGiraffe 12
Wait, just realized you don't have to be a teacher to be a chaperone, oh well OP you still got... schooled
onikage_666 0
What are you talking about? Everybody drinks in highschool. That dosent mean hes mot going to have a good life.
zombicidal 11
damn freshmen think They own the place
hinchkongfang 0
Oh my god! Underage kids drinking without a permit!!
Freeze_fml 17
#38 triggers the stupidity alert.
Buttsexpirate 9
"Officer I didn't mean to beat these children but it was self defense. He was 8 feet tall and in a drunken homicidal rage! I had to defend myself!"
MCRaddict 0
true dat....im a sophmore and they think they own the place
Eaglestrike117 29
Since when is one punch in the mouth "getting your ass handed to you?"
IThinkItsAlright 7
38. I'm in high school and I don't drink.
asl_for_life 6
35- how is the last sentence incorrect??
fenceme235 0
how old are u again???
Ann23 7
What does age have to do with anything ?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Social Security and Senior Discount at the local Goodwill.
TuteSweet 13
17 or older. If you fallow the website policy.
MrKlutch 1
What does that have to do with anything
jkubler 0
it has to do with how big of a bitch he should feel like for having his ass beat by a fifteen year old haha
shadowsun28 0
Dumb ass if he's 18 or older he will get arrested for assaulting a minor. Since he was chaperoning I'm pretty sure he was.
LifeSucksChicken 0
Well he cld be 14 too...damn that sucks
dancer1103 2
107- He didn't punch the kid, the kid punched him
Josh67 1
Its ok. Wasn't it somewhat like a surprise attack?
Flutequeen 0
That's a really early age to drink.
Jdimp 1
shhorryyuuukuun!!! (ryu)
hipsterteen 7
Flutequeen It really isn't that young to be drinking.
J3R3MYY 14
Bahahaha too early... Pfft
ollie179 21
Now look here you young wippersnaps. Alcohol is bad ok? So let me take these and... SMACK!
country4life17 0
Drug and alcohol are bad mkay...
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
You can do it, it's all up to you! Mkaaaaaaaaaaay!
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
"wippersnappers" is a funny word :3
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Where did the kids manage to get alcohol and how did they manage to smuggle it into the school??
Palirose 22
#64 it's not hard to take drugs or alcohol onto school grounds, not every school checks their students for this stuff. When I was in high school there were kids with guns in their back packs. Unless your school is damn near like a prison, it's fairly easy to get things in.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
72- mine sorta is we got cameras pretty much on every hallway...but I mean ppl get drugs on just not alcohol
happychicka 0
Hahaha yes please tell! ;)
palmergoesbig 0
Don't be nosey.
TheAngryKitten 0
Dude, are you mentally handicapped? Being "Nosey" at a school dance is a Chaperone's job. It keeps everybody safe.
ednusi 7
rite u are
superangryandy 2
Nosy... I think. No. Now I know why the grammer fewer dosent lick me
lemon_phat 11
89- what....? Grammar? Huh...? Confused....
ambowew 7
Don't feel bad, just watch The Butterfly Effect. That movie taught me a valuable lesson concerning young kids. Don't **** with the psychotic ones.
Freeze_fml 17
In the alternate endings they cease their existence. Shame about it being alternate.
palmergoesbig 0
...
eminarnar 0
Sounds like an extraordinary kid right there.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Idk if sarcasm was intended but how is 9th graders drinking alcohol extraordinary??
eminarnar 0
Sarcasm
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Ok I thought but had to make sure lol
ekarjala 0
Chaperoning fail.
brunogtz 4
your comment fails
StoryOfTheYear 15
Good thing you skipped capitalizing the Y and a period at the end. Otherwise someone would've beaten you to the punch.
xosportsgirl14x 8
24, just shut up,
CryMoreFMLs 15
31 - Get off your period.
PokeSmot 10
31, You shut up.
happychicka 0
Uhmm isn't that her job when yur a chaperone? Just wondering...
s0m3guy2010 21
That's ok. Just promptly accidentally kick him in the nuts. Say you saw a spider on his crotch. If he's really drunk, he might believe you.
amberskyz 4
Hopefully you didnt brush your teeth this morning and one of your teeth grazed his knuckles. He'll be sorry.
SilentTreatment 7
^^^ That was just lame and made no sense what so ever....
PageantGirlXOXO 16
wtf?
Abrien 8
The human mouth contains an intense amount of bacteria, an untended wound from someone's mouth can become severely infected, to the point of becoming gangrenous
foreverjoseph 5
Always think positive!