Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
myth454 2
Assault?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why didn't you just delete her? I realize how annoying some people can be, but the better thing to do is just delete and ignore...
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Comments (350)
TheOldWitch 6
YDI for not minding your own business.
Lunantic 6
FYL. I would have done the same. Some people just need to be told how immature they're being, and getting their boyfriend to handle the situation shows it.
qwerty554 4
You should have hit him back
jazzmancarron 11
two words: second amendment. if she likes to use her men as weapons, and he's stupid enough to allow himself to be used as such, then eliminate said weapon as punishment to both of them.
Leslier_fml 4
Another case where keeping real goes wrong.
pexy_fml 16
You have your address posted on Facebook ?! Are you a moron!!
alliebaba7 8
How does he know where you live?
friedT 5
I get why you did that, but bye bitching like that, wouldn't that make you kind of a human turd?!?!?
pexy_fml 16
Bye ?
jwp0211 17
I hate people like that. They complain when they don't get what they want and cry when someone tells them off.
worldclassrager 41
its amazing how connections are...