Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML
Today, I avoided checking Facebook because I didn't want to see all the Halloween parties involving my friends that I didn't get invited to. FML
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was checking my friends' posts on Facebook and all of them were complaining what a boring night they had. They were all just at my house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
No wonder no one wants to be with you -- you are useless even in imaginary bar fights! I'll bet your imaginary girlfriend is ugly and frigid, and she's cheating on you with your boring imaginary best friend.
JERZBornNRaised 7
thats shit, go out meet people, make friends, and stop sittin at home complainin thru the internet to people how you have no friends, cuz no one is gonna be your pity friend here either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
exotica_fml 6
that blowz :(
exotica_fml 6
but why lie..just dont mention your pathetic new years...ANDDD why lie and say you got your ass kicked?? soo lame. lol. you couldve made up a better lie... YDI & sorry that your new years sucked big time lol
Nadinek98 0
OP..... u sir or madam, r a fail.
claiiire_fml 17
sirin is the best mod(:
juicey_j 0
**** your no good lol
dorworters 9
right? at least say you kicked someones ass...
lindseyj17 22
*you're
JERZBornNRaised 7
thats shit, go out meet people, make friends, and stop sittin at home complainin thru the internet to people how you have no friends, cuz no one is gonna be your pity friend here either.
FarSide 23
Jersey born and raised? Damn, you have no shame.
SydneyCrosby 0
shut up he's got a point. what's OP getting by whining on the Internet?
Roadkill007 9
attention? i mean just look over 50 comments lol .
Lucidium 0
pliz b my freind i dunt got any :(
ohcanaduh 0
in new jersey born n raised, the gym is where i spent most of my days in the mens bathroom injectin' some roids actin all cool doin' some smooth crack outside the school when a couple of jersey "beefers" they were up to no good, started makin' trouble in my neighbourhood i got in one little flexing competition and my "ma" got scared and said you movin' with aunty and uncle in bel air
kingdomhearts3 0
#83 Wow...don't ever degrade FPoBA by associating it with Jersey...You obviously watch and enjoy the show enough that you have the intro memorized, so maybe you should show some respect for it. Anyways, @ OP, don't be too down about spending new year's alone..not the end of the world. But seriously, come up with a better lie next time?? Why would you tell people that you got the shit beat out of you...how about you kicked the shit out of 2 guys hitting on your girl and you have to show up in court for assault..Instead of digging yourself in a deeper hole by saying that you got the shit beat out of you..
perdix 31
No wonder no one wants to be with you -- you are useless even in imaginary bar fights! I'll bet your imaginary girlfriend is ugly and frigid, and she's cheating on you with your boring imaginary best friend.
giantsfan2010 23
So true...
LouderThanEver 0
Some one needs to tell him to get back in reality.
MadPercussion 0
Lol. If he can't win in his imagination, then how do any of you people to go out and make friends in real life!?
skilova4lifezzz 19
#36 maybe he can imagine someone tells him this.
Mrs_Nevermind 0
Wow... You went to all the trouble of publically humiliating yourself over a public forum, explaining that you got your ass handed to you..To cover a private humiliation of not being invited out to party? You could have easily kept that to yourself, so I suppose you didnt think that one through huh.
tandem123 6
Simplest possible solution: don't update your status.
Hidan_fml 0
If you ******* lose in a bar fight that never even ******* happened, no wonder you're such a ******* loser.
FarSide 23
"I ain't gonna take too many more of those mother *******"... Redd Foxx
Hidan_fml 0
Sorry, I have a ******* swearing problem. If you read my ******* profile, you would ******* know that.
DocBastard 40
If you had put your profile information in English, maybe people would be able to ******* read it, friend.
Hidan_fml 0
So use Google Translate. I know Google Translate sucks, but it's Japanese-English translation for About Me is actually dead-on.
Hidan_fml 0
In case YOU didn't notice, this ******* website was made by a guy in France. :)
DocBastard 40
Hidan, considering you're new here and considering pendatik has nearly 6000 comments to his name, I have a sneaking suspicion he may know the Mighty FML Deity personally. As he said, this is an English language website. So stick with English, and don't consider yourself so far above everyone else as to expect us to care enough to translate your profile.
Sirin_fml 47
It was actually made by THREE guys in France. Now shut it before I make you eat your own head, you nitwit.
Buddy360 0
Why would you say that. I would say do something like "I got into this huge bar fight and beat the shit out of this one guy."
klk5 0
So instead of just telling people you sat at home you decided to make yourself look like a wimp. Good plan!
taniaaaaa 0
So your starting your year off with a LIE ?! not too smart, my friend. But, Happy New Year (:
macskapingvin 0
I'm sure people would respect you more if you weren't so desperate to conform. As it is, if you're going to be a liar, at least make ithe lie more impressive than the truth.