Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
myth454 2
Assault?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why didn't you just delete her? I realize how annoying some people can be, but the better thing to do is just delete and ignore...
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Comments (350)
alfred07 18
Go to the police
someguy314159265 15
You should not have added her in the first place, you should not have revealed your address, and you should have let her undo herself by her own stupidity instead of voicing your feelings to her, so you definitely deserved this, even though the girl and boyfriend are both impurities in the gene pool who must be removed. If anything, make sure you press assault charges on said boyfriend.
SDBS 4
hi
spottyblanket 8
that is assault, doesn't sound like you said anything TERRIBLY bad and it doesn't warrant you being beaten. Take your address off facebook though, who even does that??
jweezy89 4
How exactly would op prove who did it? It's basically a he said/she said case. Unless he left a distinguishable mark that proves it was him, all op's evidence is circumstantial. A bruise or two won't be enough to win a trial and you'd waste more money than you'd potentially win.
blubberfish 10
Hit her boyfriend with a chair
lonkite101 14
That's reasonable
roZen91 2
YDI. You should have just ignored. Who are you to birch someone out?
missalice0306 19
1. Go to her profile 2. There is a 'Friends' box. Click on that. 3. Click 'Unfriend' Next time, don't add every person who friend requests you.
flipcrazy 0
Don't talk s*** with your hands down ydi
friedbunnies 9
It's the internets. Calm the **** down, people.
xgetxbentx 13
Well, I agree with you, but you really should have just deleted her. Facebook statuses are not worth that much drama. That being said, time to file assault charges. Be sure to get pictures of any injuries!