Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
myth454 2
Assault?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why didn't you just delete her? I realize how annoying some people can be, but the better thing to do is just delete and ignore...
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Comments (350)
ambear26 14
Ugh I hate Facebook... Managed to have op tell a girl off and then her boyfriend beat the shit out of him. Yay for the book of the face!
xponia 8
That's really sucks.... But can't you file for assault?
Dcm210 19
remove the girl from your friends list and print out a big picture of her to use as a dart board.
Spark_Slicker 19
It was pretty retarded for you to do that. Yeah, she's annoying. But just delete her.
izzy_maee 4
Wait, WHY did he beat you?
Michael_92 20
Reread the FML. It is up there.
wowthatissad 9
Laughed really hard at the human turd... Sorry op, think about what you say?
EyeLoveChicken 0
You let another man beat you in your own house? You fail as a man.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for adding someone on Facebook that you don't even know, or who you consider to be a "human turd." And then you say something like that to her. Yeah, it's true, but you don't say that to someone...at least not to someone you know in real life, or as your real name, where someone can find where you live.
j_cat187 20
What should have done: Lock the door and call the cops; explain the situation. Get a rifle and wait by the door. If he kicks in the door and enters the house, the make my day law applies and you are allowed to defend yourself with lethal force.
j_cat187 20
Ahh, your from Britian. In that case you're helpless.
caitiebug1119 15
Dude, I hope that taught you to keep your opinions to yourself or delete people that piss you off. Yeah, people can be annoying. Just ignore them or unfriend them.