Today, my 3 year old future niece was combing my hair while I was watching a movie with the future in-laws. She kept leaving saying she was going to "go get the comb wet". I assumed she meant in the bathroom sink. Turns out she was just going around behind the couch and licking it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old niece brushed my hair, making sure to be gentle so she wouldn't hurt me. When it was time to brush the front, she made sure to meticulously brush my mustache. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
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Top comments
bl3ur0z3 17
I assumed toilet. This actually isn't so bad.
whiskey'swino 15
From a 3 year old, not so bad. I thought she was peeing on it. There is this awesome product called shampoo. Use it and your life won't be a FML anymore.
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Comments (13)
raven_of_azarath 35
That’s gross. There’s now spit in your hair, and she was licking a comb. Every aspect of this is gross.
bl3ur0z3 17
I assumed toilet. This actually isn't so bad.
whiskey'swino 15
From a 3 year old, not so bad. I thought she was peeing on it. There is this awesome product called shampoo. Use it and your life won't be a FML anymore.
silentbabydeer 10
She just prepared you to be ready for your future children.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a spitty situation.
acmariner99 25
3 year old - enough said
donb23 23
Could have been worse, she could have been plunging it in the toilet.
clair_brodie 35
It was just drool I totally so that going in the direction of her dipping it in the toilet.
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
Kids are so weird. Which is why I like dogs.
StagGT 13
I feel like that's worse for her