Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
myth454 2
Assault?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why didn't you just delete her? I realize how annoying some people can be, but the better thing to do is just delete and ignore...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (350)
21_nevause 1
Who cares what you tell to someone, especially online. Now, the main thing I'm wondering is why the hell would you open your door to some psycho that wanted to kick your ass? Secondly, you know who this guy is, you have proof of what happened on Facebook. If she said ANYTHING on there related to you being beat up and if he said ANYTHING about it, you now have evidence that even if they delete, is still on Facebook's servers. So now you can press charges and let a judge deal with this psycho. Seriously, if someone is deranged enough to travel to someone's residence and beat the shit out of them for a negative opinion about their girlfriend, they need legal intervention. Thirdly, you're a moron.
codebreeder 5
Hats off to you man. Human turds are everywhere and they all think they are some kind of reasonable person. They should all be recycled into solar panels and help save the earth.
MorikahJo 4
Well for one, you didn't have to add her. Second, you didn't have to keep her on Facebook.Third, even if she was acting dumb, it's not really your job to trash her out like that. I don't believe in violence, but what'd you expect?
Sandman366 6
You know, the fact she got her boyfriend to do that just proves your point. And the assault charges would make a great revenge.
Altazor 4
llull
jengers115 10
Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom...
TotalWin 0
It sucks when you're scrawny and think that the internet is a vieled wall of protection. Its called delete her, anything else and you're an idiot and deserve the consequences. I hope you also told him to "come at you bro" like an internet bamf.
Iamme30069 5
Well that beating must have... Stunk get it human turd. No ok, back to my corner
BADMAMAJAMMA 3
Learn to defend yourself
shawnagreenbean1 9
I read this as though OP was a girl and it came to the end and I was like "oh my god!!" False alarm. I hope? Stupid mobile version...