Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second talk with our mother. I got an allergic reaction to the lotion used to ease the pain. My mother said I was overreacting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
Today, I had a heat rash on my crotch. I asked my mom for cortisone cream. While I was putting it on, it suddenly started burning. It turns out she gave me arthritis cream. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML
Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML
Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML
Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, my younger brother sat on some poison ivy. He didn't have any symptoms because he's pretty much immune to it. Also today, my boyfriend had to run to the ER because he got poison ivy on his genitalia. I knew they spent way too much time together. FML
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Top comments
chris_lillo 15
How did he give you a rope burn? If it was a sincere accident you cant expect your mom to give him some huge punishment.
commandpriority 5
I honestly read this as rug burn. Then I wondered if I was suddenly in the south
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Comments (8)
chris_lillo 15
How did he give you a rope burn? If it was a sincere accident you cant expect your mom to give him some huge punishment.
Lisa Alexandria 10
Dogs will be dogs!! 🤷🏻♀️
commandpriority 5
I honestly read this as rug burn. Then I wondered if I was suddenly in the south
blondie45 21
What are you, like 10 or something? Even old enough to be on FML?
d3rpb0t 10
Technically, she wasn't wrong, it was just your immune system overreacting. ...jokes aside, that sucks OP. Hopefully you've recovered by now.
lucidinferno 12
How does one accidentally get rope burn?
Davros 12
Your mom KNOWS you have no problem putting that lotion on a friction burn
PhoenixChick 26
speaking of burns...