Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
My love language is…
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Action - Reaction
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Consent
Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Rejection erection
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
Cheating with the showerhead
Today, my wife shouted at me for masturbating in the shower, because, "It’s disgusting." She hasn’t touched me sexually in two years FML
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Top comments
LizetteBerenice 22
Women.
5secondsofvvifi 21
Maybe her boobs are sore right now? If this is the first time she's done it, ask her about it.
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Comments (170)
a_wiener_d0g 15
Maybe that's her way of letting you know she likes it rough
CaroAurelia 12
Well, I mean, if she doesn't like that, that's her prerogative. But there has to be a nicer way to say it...
VonBlitzkrieg 27
I hate it how it's socially acceptable for women to slap men and not the other way around when they claim they want equality.
Welshite 40
It's not socially acceptable either way. By the way, using domestic violence as an example of equality is hardly the way to go about it.
aruam365 24
It's not socially acceptable either way. It's taken seriously either way, you're guilty of battery and possibly assault depending on the situation regardless of your gender. Medical professionals like myself take it seriously, the police officers we work with take it seriously, anyone in society with any common sense takes it seriously. I've seen horrible injuries inflicted by a tiny female, it's often about how motivated someone is.
XBurytheCastleX 25
"They claim they want equality" First off, I haven't said a damn thing about it. There shouldn't even have to be the topic of equality, it should just automatically happen. Are you saying that we can hit men all we want? Cause I haven't hit a single male in my entire life.
Zebediabolical 45
Generally, no one takes it seriously. There are plenty of hidden camera setups that show exactly that. When a woman in public is getting harassed, men and women step in reasonably quickly. When a woman is abusing a man in public, in general no one steps up to do a damned thing. In fact, people of both sexes will stop and stand around and watch. And often times smirk or laugh at the guy getting slapped or otherwise abused in public.
devildog562 33
I have been detained for stoping a guy hitting a girl... :/ on that note crazy ex punched me in the face to the point of blood and all I got was a beer and two cops asking me what I did... Funny how stupid it is . No one deserves to be hit in a relationship. Walk away if you can't civilly and or vocalize in respectable manner .
Bigfabthetruth52 22
@XburythecastleX.OK you haven't hit one in "your" entire life. whats your point how does that add credence to anyone's argument here. you might not have hit a man in your life but trust me there are plenty of violent women out there. what he was saying was that he hates how its just a mere after thought or not taken with as much seriousness when a woman hits a man in any domestic dispute. and he is saying its ironic because they want equality in a plethora of other areas but in this issue it seems to not be important to them as it pertains to men's equality in those situations.
KrazyKatz3 26
I don't think they're saying men should be allowed to hit women... I know it isn't appropriate for a woman to hit a man but I have seen that before and people accept it. It's a sad fact but it is true.
Tsukiyomi 16
Wait, your WIFE slapped you? Your wife. But if you're having sex with her that means none should be embarrassed yeah? How long have you two been married?
PegLegRacing 34
Time to trade her in for a less crazy model.
DianaFrances411 13
Maybe her breasts were sore.. Or perhaps she was unwilling to have sex? Or it made her feel weird? I think it's best to just ask her the reason for why she slapped you so you can work it out and not make the same mistake again.
orbit 22
Because it's his fault he got smacked?
IWishIWasObama 12
I take it your wife likes to be the dominant one during sex?
Joshery 14
Well then
sdroze1389 31
is she prego our breast feeding? I've herd of this anomaly in those situations
Algorithm 24
It's really sad that there's a double standard where a woman hitting someone isn't treated like the abusive behavior it is, and it's also sad when people say that double standard means they should be able to hit women. Nobody should be hitting anybody.
Noreason89 6
But it is treated as abusive behavior...
Ki11erC 18
I with #90 here, I know in the uk it's treated as abuse, it's just not so common, probably due to men being the more dominant ones usually. But i can also see men not coming forward due to it being a women and they could feel embarrassed etc and ofc there is the reason both sides don't come forward, fear/delusional love. (He/She loves me really blah blah)
Bigfabthetruth52 22
i agree if more guys would document that shit maybe the general public would understand. there's many men that are abusive to their women in various ways but there are plenty of women also that are the same way behind the scenes because there is little light shed on it. and i mean its some real ****** up dudes that do their girls so bogus it really baffles me sometimes, but there's also some ruthless girls that exist in this world too. some women use domestic violence as a vice in heated situations by doing what they want to do to men and call the police afterwards to **** men over. people just need to understand violent behavior in general isn't acceptable.