Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Romance
Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML
Gunk
Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Top comments
GovernorGeneral 8
Everything should have its own theme song.
boating_guy 33
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
RentaName 15
Good for your wife for making up her own theme song! Good thing she only does it in the shower. Mine is the Mexican Hat Dance. As you can imagine, it can get quite messy.
ally8 21
Lol that's something I would do!
onorexveritas 24
and the problem is?
Ibeatmyself 3
I thought everyone did that my theme song has a 2minute air guitar solo
GimmeFive 10
She's a keeper
sexylady3884 0
amen haha
steelx3 4
Lyrics?
PhishloverA 14
So what's the song called? How does it go?
tutu40 1
That's hilarious :)
noisebox 1
Cool record it and post it...
roquette5710 8
That's funny