Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife complained that the shower was draining slowly, so I took the drain cover off and snaked the drain. I pulled out a giant blob of reeking, stinking, rotten filth. My wife saw it and screamed. Now she insists she can still smell it on my hands and won't let me near her. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, work was so busy that when I went to take a shit, I had to force it and wipe hurriedly. Later, when I got home and hopped in the shower, my wife saw the skid mark in my underwear and lost her shit, calling me a disgusting disgraceful pig. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
warrior2 20
Why all the rrrrrrrrs?
lantz4levi 19
Maybe you should talk to her about cleaning it herself when she's done? Fyl
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Comments (34)
lantz4levi 19
Maybe you should talk to her about cleaning it herself when she's done? Fyl
warrior2 20
Why all the rrrrrrrrs?
MyKarmaisBad 11
Is it only me who read it as in "Let the bodies hit the floooorrr"?
ohsnapword 21
Clean the hair up off the floor Clean the hair up off the floor Clean the hair up off the floor Clean the hair up off the floorrrrrrr
fuckpotato 12
#19 this is gold!
moondoglou420 17
Maybe he fell?
ml_augustus 23
Maybe he stupid
Lalala579121 28
Maybe he's a pirate.
Squeepy 19
I simply imagined OP shouting "FLOORRRR!" as he slipped mid-sentence.
ABlindMan 17
2 - Maybe a play on sounds, using the extra r's as like a husky growling?
crackpotL 33
Obviously they are a pirate family that lives on a ship.
LyricaSilvan 30
They're just that annoyed about it. One r just wouldn't do.
ohSNAPyall 27
Whiny rrrrrrrs.
cheyluvsturtles 30
Most women do leave a loot of hair because it is usually longer. But most women also have the decency to clean it up. Let her know.
enginsteve 17
My fiancee leaves a loot of hair as well.
brownapple 22
whaats with the extraa letters?
anonymoususer070 17
Most women do shed alot, most I've seen it's because of long hair, I have that issue. You're overreacting, it's not eff your life bad or anything just be an adult and tell her. Isn't that what marriage is about?
almost_there44 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No, he's not overreacting. How about his wife, who is an adult as well, clean up her own mess before she leaves the shower? Marriage or not, I wouldn't want to clean up after my husband just because we're married. His title isn't husband and maid. She can clean her own shit. Isn't that what marriage is all about?
yerawizardlizzy 27
Yo, that's why #4 said "Just be an adult and tell her."
almost_there44 26
I understand that. But, I find it hard to believe that the wife doesn't know that she sheds so much and clogs the drain. She shouldn't have to be talked to for her mess to be cleaned up, in my opinion. But my post was a little too aggressive, I apologize.
anonymoususer070 17
#22 So having to clean up after his wife his eff his life horrible? He must have an easy life then, my husband shaves his beard and sometimes forgets to clean the sink do there's hair everywhere, I clean it up so I guess FML? No we help each other but if it's really that bad you ask the other to clean it up. If that's how you feel I truly hope you never get married.
almost_there44 26
Don't even start with the, "I hope you don't get married," card. Me getting married will never affect your marriage or life. I never said his life will be messed up or is horrible, don't know where you pulled that from. I stand by what I said. She should clean up her hair.
anonymoususer070 17
I never said it would affect my marriage or my life actually. And actually you did say he's not overreacting so by saying so him saying eff his life because of one small thing is saying his life is horrible, that's pretty much what fml means. If you don't think he's overreacting then I can have an opinion of I hope you don't get married because cleaning up after each other is part of living together and being married, it's helping each other, and picking your battles. I also said he can mention it but it's not that bad. So I also stand by what I said.
almost_there44 26
Yeah, he's not overreacting. If you post something, expect someone to have a different POV. I will get married, so worry about your own life. It's clearly a big deal to him, it may not be to you. Anyway, not going to argue with you. Have a great day.
Lilo4life 26
I personally love the "hair art" created on the walls when several females with long hair live together
BoxFullOfLazy 25
With all those r's, and his constantly having to clear the shower drain of someone else's hair, I think OP must put the "irate" in "pirate."
thunderniron 22
Same problem here. Looks like Chewbacca shaved in the shower.
ballora 2
That sounds like a hairy situation you have.
happypenguins 24
*floor
KoiTheKewlKid 20
Kinky