Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
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Top comments
fmobus 0
Today, I was laying there, resting at night, when a very sweaty firefighter jumped on me, without showering first. I'm a pool. Yuck. FML
d347hm4n 0
I'm assuming this is a male posting? #2 You seen the state of the economy, there is alot of folk who are still living with their parents!
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Comments (55)
fantabolous 2
thats when you're supposed to opt for the shower... couldn't have taken that much extra time
KeithHarris 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What are you doing still living with your dad anyway? Where's my capital 'L' sign?
LeadTheWay 5
[ L ] || || there ya go
d347hm4n 0
I'm assuming this is a male posting? #2 You seen the state of the economy, there is alot of folk who are still living with their parents!
Jiplo 18
And I knew some people in high school who were volunteer firefighters.
Seegtease 0
I hope your dad is senile and you're taking care of him. Apparantly if a flood light freaks him out, this may actually be the case. You work for the fire department, you should make enough to have your own place.
Jcsati8 0
Your dad just hit a grand slam!
Luckster 0
#2 and#4, oi! Whatever works for people who can't fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars for a house or don't want to tell their souls to unreliable banks for loans and what-have-you! No shame in living under your folks' roof until you're truly ready for your own place. Best you coulda done is either inform your folks you were gonna cool off in that matter, or just take an ice-cold shower like a civilized man.
so_me_fml 0
...if the flood light came on, shouldn't your dad have seen it was you, and not someone he wanted to beat with his bat?
wolfgold2 20
What if he wanted to beat OP with a bat?
Seegtease 0
They can rent. They can do lots of things. If he were working fast food, I'd understand. But from what I've heard, the Fire Dept usually pays a very livable wage. There's no good reason to stay at home in that circumstance unless you take care of your parents or you leech from them.
da_page09 0
you could be saving up for a large down payment on a house. being a responsible adult
blazneg2007 0
The light came on and he still swung? Maybe he wants you out...
RenRen_fml 0
Oh...ouch. Maybe you should warn your dad next time???