Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML
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Top comments
jamielusions 19
Thats literally the definition of love. FYL? More like fck yes.
StarkWolf_fml 23
yep, she's a keeper
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Comments (21)
jamielusions 19
Thats literally the definition of love. FYL? More like fck yes.
RichardPencil 32
I see a blumpkin in the making. I just thought the idea was a prank played on the Urban Dictionary.
shortyybrooke 21
I'm a girl, too. No blumpkins this way ?
RichardPencil 32
My fault for assuming you were a male-female couple. The icons for gender are hard to distinguish on a smartphone. On the bright side, you can make up the word or phrase for performing oral sex on a defecating woman. Go for it!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Classy.
StarkWolf_fml 23
yep, she's a keeper
GhostFox 34
She loves you enough to deal with the smell of it means she gets to be affectionate with you and receive it from you. Appreciate the fact that she loves you enough to do that, and if it makes you uncomfortable, tell her that you appreciate that she wants couple time, but that you find the idea of engaging in it while using the bathroom very off putting.
wickedgetz 30
your wife is awesome, I just hope you love her enough to make out with her while she is taking a dump.
Burle 17
This one feels like the OP is laughing at the people with real relationship problems
Miss_080 21
Are you guys rednecks? Why the f*** is she in the bathroom while you are doing a no. 2???!!!!
Sketi1 7
Don't get so butt hurt over it.
Glowworm56 27
Seems like she was willing to wait for you to finish your business!