weave9z
Montreal, Canada
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
deargodthepain
United States
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
Privacy please
Richmond, United States
So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
shortyybrooke
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Romance
Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML
married to a bipedal husky
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Lake Butler, United States
Gunk
Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML
wtfiswrongwithher
Australia
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
ShiddyDiddy
Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML
Countdown has begun
Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
locksmack
Australia
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Fire_Crotch
Canada
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Top comments
GovernorGeneral 8
Everything should have its own theme song.
boating_guy 33
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
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Comments (141)
boating_guy 33
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
MagicGiraffe 12
I'd take advantage of this and use it as a warning.
Climaxx 11
As long as she pees BEFORE she cleans herself.
doctorhook86 25
1: I dunno about that; what if the wife is really hot?
JackeeDawn 9
There are two kinds of people in this world; those who pee in the shower. And those who are dirty ******* liars.
MDTeddy 13
I would like to be peed on by a pretty girl, but only if I was in the shower with her or else I don't want to be.
dougiewhale 6
Your wife reminds me of… me.
sadistmonkey 19
There's a third kind as well. Those who really don't pee in the shower.
GovernorGeneral 8
Guess we know who the dirty ******* liar is...
sadistmonkey 19
Trust me, no one here knows who I am in real life. I have absolutely no reason to lie.
ObsessedWithMe 13
Unnecessary of her.
MichellinMan 20
Are you reading this FML right?
ObsessedWithMe 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes actually. Are you reading my comment right? It's unnecessary of OPs wife to sing a theme song for peeing in the shower.
LevyLove 17
You have absolutely no sense of humor. Jeez.... Killjoy.
grahambertus 11
*insert mcbain* "THATS THE JOKE"
starbucksguy 16
#2 I'd love to have a theme tune for when I'm peeing...and a different one for taking a dump.
pmr1990 12
Taking a dump... In the shower? Now that won't go nicely down the drain!
penguinsniper822 4
Maybe they have explosive diaria(sp?) a lot
wildsweetchild 19
She's the creative type...and those are often quite crazy , but definitely fun to be around..enjoy her company ;)
YourAFailmod 4
Am I the only one or does anyone else think of the sittin on the toilet song...?
hockeychicl003 6
67 now that you mention it... haha
spekledworf 18
I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I'm peeing in the shower!
sublimaze 6
True. Mix it with a pop-rock beat that appeals to teeny boppers, sell it to Katy Perry and make millions.
GovernorGeneral 8
Everything should have its own theme song.
TrueTriage 16
Ummmmm.... Granted "I just had sex" was a great one I don't think ************ needs one... Get back to me on a possible streaking song though that would be funny
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It's that kind of thinking that made "Friday" come about. And I'm not talking about the movie.
rekege 18
Couldn't you just sing "I just had sex" after masturbating..? 'Cause I mean, you did just have sex with yourself, and hopefully, it fe-elt so good.
elletex 8
There's already a theme song for masturbation: "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls.
XxskyelovexX 13
There is also a song called I Love Porno By Medium John. If you watch **** that could be your song after you ********** haha
a_commenter 3
There's also a song called 'strategy wanking' by the Midnight Beast
Jeffo193 13
Wow! I usually just sing the darth vader theme...
2oc 5
That's the first song to pop into my head when i read this
MichellinMan 20
I made up my own song for when I'm taking a shit. Wanna hear it?
Mons_fml 27
Yes
SqueakyChipmunk 22
You are a tire/man. You cannot shit, sir.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Well one would assume that chipmunks can't smoke a bowl. You learn something new every day.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Touché.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
little did I know an apple or a chipmunk could talk so I too learned something new today. :)
patrickalamo 48
I push I push the levy breaks, out you come my soft brown snake... I wipe away your memory From a local comic Ray Barrett
supportcommand 17
Of course Michelin man *****. That's where wheel barrow tires come from.
CadillacPimpen 6
36 I didn't know an apple could do anything other than be an apple. I stand corrected.
Adamzee88 2
I fail to see a FML with this. You just wish you had a theme song for when you were taking out the trash.
Lockjaw2k 5
Is it catchy? You should do the one from the Jimmy Neutron movie.
kaymi 17
Sheen was the first person I thought of! "I'm peeing in the shower...I'm still doing it, Go, go, go!"
clairelolz 5
My dog makes the same amount of barks when she has to pee. Maybe they should be friends
DukeLeto 14
Usually, when there's a theme song, there's also a part two. Be careful around the bed...