Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
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Top comments
wellthatsunfortunate 10
That is a f... her life, not yours. You said it yourself: you were ALMOST sure. Simply don't do things like that.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"This week on 'Weird Things in Walmart', Stan frightens an innocent woman so badly she pees herself, a man who self-identifies as a tree stands tall in the parking lot, and local misfit Rebecca the Redneck flashes the staff hoping for a discount on budget booze. Tune in tonight at 9/8c."
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Comments (25)
BurnInDemonFire 39
"This week on 'Weird Things in Walmart', Stan frightens an innocent woman so badly she pees herself, a man who self-identifies as a tree stands tall in the parking lot, and local misfit Rebecca the Redneck flashes the staff hoping for a discount on budget booze. Tune in tonight at 9/8c."
wellthatsunfortunate 10
That is a f... her life, not yours. You said it yourself: you were ALMOST sure. Simply don't do things like that.
Dave_Davington 34
On the upside, she no longer needs the bathroom. You probably saved her a good five minutes.
Chantalle Hensgens-Waltmans 19
How would you pee yourself if you already went to the bathroom? I mean, she was JUST in there 😂
TumblrweedPasses 11
Was she going to or coming from the toilet?? If she's just been how could she have anything to wet herself haha
PhoenixChick 26
I'm more confused how someone with the logic and judgment of a five year old got married.
Lua96 6
Reminds me of a friend of mine. We went somewhere in a group, but when we left, about half of us took the elevator, the other half (including him) the stairs. It was already pretty late, so I think we were the only patrons left, and definitely the only ones in the elevator. Unbeknownst to the stair-group, however, a security guard also ended up entering the elevator as we made our way down. Luckily, he took in in stride when my friend jumped out to scare us once the doors opened, but we'll never let him live it down.
RichardPencil 32
She peed herself from the initial fright. Then, he said, “Oh, I thought you were my wife!” After that, she shit herself from disgust.
jocamo 24
Totally surprised at how many people don't realize that your bladder doesn't completely empty when you pee. It's annoying when I have a cold and I use the washroom then cough so hard I pee myself. When the cough is bad I will wear a pad for this reason
EveryDisaster 11
Lmao she should have pissed already not your fault