Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife refuses to let me play my Xbox, except at the weekends, because it’s "a childish waste of time" and "we need to spend more time together", yet when we’re together she has no problem spending hours on games on her phone. No, she does not see the irony in this either. FML
Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML
Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Did she also make a sex rewards chart?
UberNova 18
**** her, she doesn't own you. Do what you want.
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Comments (162)
cryssycakesx3 23
would it be fair if he says to her "you shop too much, but if you suck me off it's OK."?
toxxickittyy 19
Yeah if my husband did this to me I'd make him sleep outside, no body should tell you what you can and can't do. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship.
culito_fml 10
Is she your mom too?? What the...
Raykyogrou03 12
do the same thing for her where she has to buy you beer or have sex with you if she wants money for shopping (provided of course that you're the only one with a job)
MrJayshemar 3
Why don't you have your own place. grow up
numberswoman 14
Either she's a total bitch or you already play games WAY too much!
TunaFireStarter 16
My boyfriend plays games basically as much as he wants. He does his thing and I do mine. He has his priorities straight though. I can understand why some partners might try to control the amount of time gaming if they are ignored and feel left out.
Al3xv3l92 24
I bet she saw the sex rewards chart, fml. then she made a similar thing.
Maxgolub 13
How about you be a man and put your foot down?
ZackL624 5
Need to put that bitch in check! You wear the pants, act like it!