Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML
Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML
Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I woke up really out of it, and as I was walking into the kitchen, I stubbed my toe on a tile. I sat down, then got up and stubbed the same toe against the table, went over to the kitchen and stubbed the same toe on the same tile again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That is one incredibly strong foot you have! Remind me never to piss you off, because if you ever kick my ass you're liable to kick me a new asshole!
DocBastard 40
KiddNYC - I was first? I didn't even notice! Omg omg what an honor! I didn't even prepare a speech! I'd, um, like to thank my wife for being so great with all the, like support and stuff! And also to the mods for not moderating me! I love you guys! Oh! Oh! And I'd like to thank the man upstairs. THANK YOU, JESUS! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!
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Comments (93)
DocBastard 40
That is one incredibly strong foot you have! Remind me never to piss you off, because if you ever kick my ass you're liable to kick me a new asshole!
Sirin_fml 47
Most incredible, DocBastard; you misspelled "tht sux".
urdirtyolduncle 15
Thank you, DocBastard, for saving us from the countless retards that would've wrote one of the most meaningless "comments" in history as the first comment.
abbi96x 0
How on earth can there be a weak spot in the floor? Come on floor; man up & get some muscles! Stop being so weak!:')
Rachel_fml 20
Shush, Sirin. We don't want to give them any more ideas. ;-)
urdirtyolduncle 15
9--- Is that how you deal with elevators and buildings that are unable to support some weight? "Come on! It's ok! Go to the gym until you get real strong so you can try it again!" You must be a blond; which is why your picture's black and white. DuRRR!!
urdirtyolduncle 15
12-- There are so many things wrong with that comment. 1) I wasn't whining, but complaining 2) I was complaining not about your meaningless comments, but the fact that they're mean; not meaningless. PMSers don't sometimes have some meaning in their comments. So, no, your comments aren't meaningless. They are; however, very offensive.
allmidnighteyes 11
WAHHHH, SOMEONE IS OFFENSIVE ON THE INTERNET. MOOOOOMMYYYYYYYYY M-M-MAKE IT S-S-STOOPPPP
cyanidesandwich 21
haha 1 he'll go all Chuck Norris on you
benderbot19 0
dirtyuncle, what really is the difference between whining and complaining? especially online to someone you don't know. sounds the same. not taking sides, just sayiiinnnn.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doc, you should have yelled "First!", DUH!!
Darth_Naru 0
OP, How have you not noticed a weak spot in your floor before?
Jaykayfu 0
I love how dirtyuncle took 9's comment so seriously! Haha, umadbro?
DocBastard 40
KiddNYC - I was first? I didn't even notice! Omg omg what an honor! I didn't even prepare a speech! I'd, um, like to thank my wife for being so great with all the, like support and stuff! And also to the mods for not moderating me! I love you guys! Oh! Oh! And I'd like to thank the man upstairs. THANK YOU, JESUS! YOU ARE THE GREATEST!
notsocrazee 0
who are you sirin? some sort of moderator? you strange angelicdemon lady...
marix54888 0
Well in my school we were kicked out of our class room so it coil be re-carpeted. (we were in the media center anyway) but my teacher said that when the carpeter's un carpeted it there was this huge hole in the middle of the room that just goes down 15 feet or so, and the only thing 2 desks up was the carpet... but maybe that was the case... it was pretty vague.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doc- You delivered that speech like a Bastard.
IgnorantAmerican 0
tht sux
lyndifluff 6
13- if you really looked at her picture you would have noticed her creativity which in this case takes the blonde ( which is how you spell that word btw ) status away. Also this is a app where ppl can ( sometimes ) freely express themselves so if someone wants to be giddy and joke around they can and that doesn't make them a " blonde " because of it. One more thing from reading everyone's comments that include yours, I would stop digging your hold right now before you can't climb out because you really suck at trolling. Just saying. =)
lyndifluff 6
hole* gotta love the iPhone auto correct.
fmlwmty 0
dang how much do you weigh? Or is you floor just extremely cheap and inexpensive?
the101dan 0
58 - lol you're a beaner. lrn2english
KatrinaKitten 16
Lay off the big macs OP..:)
abbi96x 0
#13 chill? It's called a joke. Also I'm brunette which you can clearly see in my picture ignoring the fact it's in black and white. Twat.
abbi96x 0
Thankyou #58 :)!
Darcon 8
Unlucky.
snade 0
lol more like human nature to keep messing with the hole.
Bewitched_fml 0
Somebody call 911. OP is putting holes through the kitchen floor, ohwoahohohh!
sourgirl101 29
Somebody call 911! Shawty fire burning on the dance floor, whoa I gotta cool her down She wan' bring the roof to ground On the dance floor, whoa (She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor) ****I combined this comment and the fire alarm FML to get this song!(:
sourgirl101 29
Somebody call 911! Shawty fire burning on the dance floor, whoa I gotta cool her down She wan' bring the roof to ground On the dance floor, whoa (She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor) ****I combined this comment and the fire alarm FML to get this song!(:
footballtracksta 0
what? a weak spot in your floor? what the hell?
Kilroy15 0
Ikr exactly eat I was thinking. How have you never stepped there before.? And is your house like a thousand years old that it that weak.? WTF
Just_ol_Kole 0
something probably leaked onto it and made the wood very soft.... What?!
jennifer93 0
I liked how you used the "today" that you need to have and added in "tomorrow". well played
shibainu519 0
fml requires you to start a post with today. people like you piss me off.
Livinia 11
Well if you ever see a weak spot in someone's face, just put your foot through it and see what happens.
br0itstaylor 0
very clever:3
anorexicbarbie 8
Call someone to fix it?
IHateBoyA 0
Well atleast you know.
cyanidesandwich 21
Chuck Norris would be proud....
Snowble11 13
That's a sign that you need to lose weight
redbluegreen 41
This is a sign that you don't know what you're talking about.
instnt1nfction 17
thats a sin that your not making sensae
instnt1nfction 17
it was on purpose, my young and foolish acquaintance