Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife refuses to let me play my Xbox, except at the weekends, because it’s "a childish waste of time" and "we need to spend more time together", yet when we’re together she has no problem spending hours on games on her phone. No, she does not see the irony in this either. FML
Today, I learned that my wife lets our son play video games while I'm at work to "keep him out of her hair." We had agreed that he was forbidden from gaming until his grades came up, but apparently she can't be bothered to actually parent. FML
Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I found out that my 43 year-old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year-old kid on Halo. FML
Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML
Today, my girlfriend likes playing games on her phone more than she likes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML
Today, my wife says she's not hiding money from me but I checked our joint bank account, which I no longer use, and find she's been transferring money in-and-out of 3 accounts, while taking money from me and getting payday loans to cover it. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Did she also make a sex rewards chart?
UberNova 18
**** her, she doesn't own you. Do what you want.
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Comments (162)
Jose73 8
YDI completely, if you let yourself get whipped like that. You are an adult. If your wife gets away with this, more will come. You don't freaking belong to her. Speaking as a person still head-over-heels in love after 2 years of marriage, you should have a very serious and not friendly talk. Express that in absolutely no terms is that ok, and make her acknowledge it. If she won't, then I'll join the list of people saying divorce her. Sounds extreme, but its not just about gaming, its about living your life subservient to a person, who will ask for more veeeery soon. Its not impossible to find an actually nice woman who will really love you. Don't settle for this crap out of fear.
lonelystrangers 7
get whipped
Sighjustsigh 3
I hope my girlfriend never becomes so devious.
anaakaee 7
and youre still in this relationship because...? you shouldnt have to earn gaming time. thats terrible D:
mattrd_fml 31
whipped
nitrog100 21
Your relationship is toxic. She entered that marriage knowing fully well who she was marrying. Clearly, she didn't want to marry you; she just wanted to get married.
suppdoe 6
Did you do something to make her think like that?
kalbrek009 20
I'm guessing many wives are making charts now because they either (A) read the fml about the sex chart or (B) heard about that particular fml....now trending on twitter....point charts for husbands. Jk, I hope it's not a trend, if men did that to their wives/girlfriends...I'm betting we'd see about 1000 fmls daily &/or rants on Facebook.
cballin15 1
why'd you marry a psycho? take control of your own life man
Lehk 9
you mean soon to be ex wife, right?