Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, it's been 3 years since my wife told me we should take a break from sex. We haven't touched each other since. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML
Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML
Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
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Top comments
pezzlo 0
Sorry, Rob. Alex
Dr_Phil 0
No sex in two years ... and you're still married, why?
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Comments (115)
Dr_Phil 0
No sex in two years ... and you're still married, why?
choloman 0
kids
sheerem 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Of course, because sex is the most important part of a marriage
sarah2144 14
It's not the most important part, but if you don't think sexual chemistry is important in a relationship, you're nuts.
TokioCore 17
Still #128 is right, its not THE most important thing. #1 made it sound as if theres nothing more to marriage than sex. Im not stubborn though, obviously OPs lack of intercourse meant something was wrong in his relationship. Let the thumbs down begin.
ARSCON 15
Because sex isn't a damn requirement.
Imdead 0
#5 is absolutely right. The writing was on the wall. I still feel for you, but dude get a clue..... and a hooker.
lulupookiepoo 0
That is what is wrong in the world
alpuppy 0
I think going gay is the way to go.
raidernation22 0
yeah srry to say id bet ya thatshed have a sex change for him lol
SoulFrog 7
I don't think you guys understand how this kind of thing works...
meganl_fml 0
why are you not having sex for 2 years?
pezzlo 0
Sorry, Rob. Alex
AndreMAS 0
Find out who alex is, follow them. When they go to a resturant, call a hooker and take her there, get seated 2 tables behind them, get her to go under the table and blow you, as you come say, "Damn you alex" as soon as your wife looks, let the hooker out from under the table. Find a lawyer and divorce her ass
runmymouth 0
XD I vote for #14's option. That's hilarious.
0___0 9
#14 FTW
reren 0
If you haven't had sex in two years don't you think that is kind of a sign that things weren't going right? This really sucks but it should have been foreseen. That does not mean that this is the end though. Talk to your wife. Cheating is a sign of a bad relationship. Fix the relationship and the problem will go away. May I suggest a marriage counselor and the seven principles of making marriage work by Gottman. Good luck and know that I feel your pain having been there myself. Best wishes.
lonkite101 14
No dip cheating is a sign of a bad relationship
kayykatastrophii 0
I'm sorry, that's horrible. You deserve better. :[ For some of those people saying it's "to be expected", did you EVER consider that they weren't having sex because SHE was the one not wanting it? Because, you know, she's cheating on him, so she doesn't "need" sex otherwise.