Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML
Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML
Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IhateNY 0
Maybe he KNEW you had a wobbly table leg and it was the perfect size.
Dr_Phil 0
Stop being so insecure.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
TC_fml 0
Agree with #1, he's proselytizing for his cult. I suppose he needs to meet his recruitment quota? As a practicing atheist (-: I usually have snarkier replies...
truelyawesome 0
**** you, Christianity isn't a cult. don't be an athirst ass
kjb64 0
at least we have something to believe in
kiltsaresexy 4
How can one be a practicing Atheist? An Athiest believes in no god or any kind of religion. Saying you're a "practicing Athiest" suggests some kind of routine or ritual. Next time just call yourself an Athiest.
ninjaruler 0
umm Christianity is not a cult... it is one of the worlds leading religions
Krennicus 0
Atheist believe in Life, Love, and truth. We don't believe in eternal torture, magic, or the supernatural.
MollyXD124 7
Practicing Atheist? Ok, nonetheless, I totally agree with you.
poopdollar123 4
have fun in hell!
friedpwnadge 25
More like as a practicing asshole. You can have different views without being a douche.
Dr_Phil 0
Stop being so insecure.
greenman_fml 0
You must be a common prostitute, smeared with the paint of seduction, flaunting your wiles for Satan!
HatchetMan 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would have shoved it down his throat then stomped on his head for awhile. How does your imaginary friend like me now? Bible thumpers be warned, spouting your ignorance to the wrong person might get you ******-up. I love stomping bible thumpers!!
truelyawesome 0
y are u an ass? you're going to he'll someday, and the more you piss on us, the sooner it will be...
MeesterMatt 3
Omg no way ur so cool saying that everyone loves ignorant assholes
IhateNY 0
Maybe he KNEW you had a wobbly table leg and it was the perfect size.
wicked_fml 0
Maybe you need a shirt like mine that says "Sin like you mean it." *g*
can_sympathize56 0
Don't worry, trying to guilt people is how they operate. You're not a bad person, they're just slimy. (Also, I'd have to agree with #6... what do you mean, #2?)
leadninja 0
WAIT. How did he hand you a book after you walked past him!?
hattar 0
lol, what an asshole! ******* religious people
nafiul93 0
what a dick
truelyawesome 0
you are what you eat