Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Commitment
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Permission granted and rejected
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Boring FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
In sickness and in health
Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML
Get over it
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you
Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML
Top comments
inappropes 31
Make sure to add in she has been a fat cow since '96 thus causing that issue.
mymegangirl 7
seems like she should have spoken up sooner.
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Comments (12)
jzisgoat 3
Tr(eat) her right my guy
inappropes 31
Make sure to add in she has been a fat cow since '96 thus causing that issue.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Sexual skills: learn them! This includes asking your partner what works for her.
Leeono 26
I’ve just recently divorced and heard she’s complaining about my bedroom skills to anyone she can. However she never showed any interest in trying something new and when I asked if she wanted to try something different or spoke about sex she called me a pervert and sex obsessed. She always told me she was happy with our sex life and we didn’t need to change it. People can just be bitchy for the sake of it.
mymegangirl 7
seems like she should have spoken up sooner.
Johnny5 16
Yea, divorce can be petty. People do stuff like that because the courts are required to keep everything so they get their petty thrill that there’s a public record that anyone can see that says that. I’ve also heard of divorces that ended up in court where they submitted their spouse’s nudes as evidence just to get the photos in the public record.
leighmacj 11
How did you not notice that man? Come on everyone knows you need to work for it to give a lady a good proper O. On the bright side maybe if you stop trying to replicate **** when you screw and instead listen to her and put the work in she might change her mind about the divorce. Other same of the same coin, it sounds like she has found someone to give her the at least good sex that she wants/needs.
cazziuz1983 9
Or perhaps... Just hear me out on this one.... She's just a bitch who never said anything was wrong with the sex? Notice it says adaquate ****** and not that she hasn't gotten one.... If she's gettu Goff but not saying anything to him about how it can be better then, it's her fault not his since he clearly cares enough to get her off at least, and given that he does get her off, then odds are he would have listened to what she was saying if she had ever bothered to open her mouth to do anything other than bitch
Amy Hensley 4
The only decent ****** I’ve ever had I’ve given myself.