Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML
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Top comments
KelseyDaBoyz 21
Wow. She has trust issues. Sorry it had to resort to divorce
masschris 17
Thats some crazy shit there man but good for you with the divorce
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Comments (42)
fantasyworld 39
Sorry it had to resort to divorce. She's probably cheating and putting it on you.