Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML
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Top comments
Idiotskillme 20
Don't worry too much, OP. They'll need some kind of proof and when they don't have it the cops won't be too happy with them.
xKrisSmoove 21
Get yourself some alibis OP, you'll need them, then you can possibly counter sue the bastards
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Comments (46)
Idiotskillme 20
Don't worry too much, OP. They'll need some kind of proof and when they don't have it the cops won't be too happy with them.
LostDN 9
no proof no issue, just ask for it if it's not provided then just a guess it didn't happen then and close the door.
militarybrat 21
They actually dont need any proof at all. Not in some states. Im going through this issue right now. He said she said. She will always win. I know op said he but same concept.
MichaelDeSanta 20
Sounds like you're in a dicky situation.
hi358 6
You shouldn't have tried...
MichaelDeSanta 20
I'll never stop!
YourOpinionSucks 22
I would have gone with "dick move by your neighbor". Subtlety is key my friend.
friedpwnadge 25
After the charges are dropped, go and actually expose yourself to the bastard.
SweetJane5522 22
Don't listen to this person.
Sandsh8rk 36
Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.
friedpwnadge 25
To protect the world from devastation, to unite all peoples within our nation, to denounce the evils of truth and love, to extend our reach to the stars above... Team Zoidberg shitposts at the speed of light, down vote me now or prepare to fight! (meowth, that's right!)
xKrisSmoove 21
Get yourself some alibis OP, you'll need them, then you can possibly counter sue the bastards
TripleATeam 13
If they don't have proof, he can claim slander.
walid820014 20
After the charges are dropped, make them see hell in earth.
theoldman 22
Do you have a mole somewhere that might disprove his theory...?
fashionbug9880 22
A tattoo or piercing would work as well.
TabooSushi 24
Pretty sure you can counter sue him for defamation of character.
jbuckets_404 39
#7: Def-o-Char doesn't apply when a complaint is filed w/ the police. It's still an (unconfirmed) accusation. Plus you can't counter-sue when you haven't yet been sued yourself, but "only" accused of a crime.
jbuckets_404 39
Yep, I've been in OP's position: only 1 witness and it's for the complainant. The "victim" (who obviously knew how to "game the system" to said person's advantage) convinced the DA to charge me w/ two occurrences of the same offense; all my attorney could then do was plead me down to only 1 count, so I served 12 months probation w/ a nightly curfew (10PM-6AM) AND sober - as confirmed via random test drug testing. :-( --(Literally) Still Pissed in Wisc
Colon_Man 17
Just out of high school I had a girlfriend *shudder* that tried gaming the system. 911 actually told her to never call them again, ever.
SublimeChic4 15
OMG I am SO SORRY for you! GOOD LUCK! Those assholes could end up ruining your life.... i really hope that's not the case!
jansdrs 19
Really? Caps?
nickie_94 18
They might be trying to cover up their own sketchy activity. Sleep with one eye open!