Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!
Woodsy007 0
wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.
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Comments (323)
nikki9tails 3
If I ever quit smoking sex would be my next big addiction just wait and see Op :)
1234USMC 0
just cheat on her that always works
verysuperphail 0
Your only solution is to rape her
Xpensive 0
wow gonna be spending alot of time alone lol
sethars 0
miss bunny and her macaroni :p
killedmyteacher 0
everyone here is a heartless bitch. your wife is trying to quit smoking, so help her, not bitch and whine and moan cause you can't have an ****** tonight you little ******* sex addict. oh ****** no!!! I can't have sex! big deal, marriage isn't about sex and bj's it's about a love and passion for one another. instead of being a **** Nazi, get a heart and figure out what you can do to help your wife. or let her divorce you once she figures out that all you want is her sex and other wise you don't give a **** about her. and then at least she could find someone who cares. And all you heartless assholes out there that think it's ok to be like him, go hang yourself by your tiny little beiber sized weener. care about your future and kids and friends while you can before you get stolen by the devil and burn in he'll for the rest of your life!
Dallyni 22
u rock!!!!!
ShrukiantheMad 0
Reality check kid, God doesn't exist. If you still belive in him, Santa doesn't either. And the word you are looking for would be "you" just sayin'.
porkbun707 0
it's probably because your Johnny is so small lol
TomFeltonFan 0
what about miss bunny and her macaroni? hmmmmm? I wonder.. >.>
NickyB3293 7
sucks for you! shes doin a good thig for herself
kaykay9080 5
right! so what you have to give up sex, you're a ****** up dude.