Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!
Woodsy007 0
wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.
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Comments (323)
jlperry31 10
my friend bought me a pack of cigs when I had quit already for a few days. she said she couldnt afford to get me the patches. HELLO. I didn't ask for u to buy me a patch and I why would u bring me a pack of cigs when. I was quitting. just bc u want a smoke buddy on break at work
AScic1 3
normal guys need to get it. i feel for ya.
TraceCase_ 19
256- Great news! Weezy's been out for a while now
Viciousvixen_21 0
Your dick must be small.
trick619 0
sounds to me like she's just craving something to suck and blow
denvan 0
Go take that blow updoll out and get to work on it
ciarafox9 9
I meant giving up smoking is hard if u are heavily addicted!
sannamm 5
you could always try solo ;)
diabian 9
tell her to smoke you onstead.. only it will be swallowed rather than inhaled.
WOGBRO 6
Instead of smoking She could smoke ur dick.
WOGBRO 6
I am very sorry for my language
LifeSucksbtw 0
haha 118 agreed smoking does nothing for you it's just bad for you. were as at least with cannabis it makes you feel high ;) if anybody brings up that marijuana is bad. then I'm leaving lol I hate those arguments and avoid those flame wars