Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
That's what a druggie would claim
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
One-upmanship championship
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
You hypocrite
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Smoke 'em if you've got 'em
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Check yourself
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Boozehound
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Sounds like your mom is a little uptight. Maybe you could get her a prescription for some medical marijuana.
brutallyhonest24 0
LMAO, well now we wont blame you if you develop a drinking problem =P
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Comments (124)
brutallyhonest24 0
LMAO, well now we wont blame you if you develop a drinking problem =P
satanic_fml 13
yes we will
evry1luvspuns 0
She tried it one time to many for her mom to handle lol
xMrAndyTranx 4
Be strong. We can get you through this... Hopefully it's not too late :/
transcedental 18
ahahhaha, thank you xD best comment evah
B4SK3TB4IL 0
no it wasn't
emmaness 0
59 i <3 your picture
FerrariCake 2
Sounds like your mom is a little uptight. Maybe you could get her a prescription for some medical marijuana.
ImASHMARTcookie 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for trying pot, even if it was only once
conz1992 0
#4 you're an absolute killjoy. seriously? Why is it people are so in line with the law on this site? YDI this YDI that...**** YOU!
sappyboris 0
this is super dumb
macaaroni 0
that's horrible. must be like living in jail.
ActionManly 11
'Coz only 1/3 American adults have tried it, y'know...
Kukironosuke 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
i agree with #4, weed is stupid, and its not because of the law, people shouldnt use additude suppressers unless they really need them, nobody needs to be mellow all the time just to feel good or for fun
Anon17564 3
Troll successful.
boltaction1 0
beet kills mor braincells than pot.Just sayin'...
Baron_Random 0
Well aren't you a ******* asshole. They're drugs, they're probably going to end up like you with mental retardation except they weren't born with it.
RunnerBack33 1
suck on my chronic, bitch.
fatraptorjesus13 9
Remember kids, pot makes you retarded. This message brought to you by Fox News.
lilmillion22 5
There is absolutely nothing wrong with pot. It's like anything. Be responsible and reasonable with it and you're good. Smoke a j and let go.
skilova4lifezzz 19
#4 You're a completely ignorant asshole. There is nothing wrong with pot, not even the slightest bit. It was outlawed in a time when alcohol was outlawed, and people are finally coming to their senses about this. Unless you can honestly say you've never drank alcohol, don't even judge people who use pot. Alcohol kills thousands every year, how many has pot killed ever? ******* zero.
bopersonn 13
How the hell do you know that?
xerbrus 14
beet lol
SweetestSin 4
sounds like mom needs to inhale a special brownie so she can chill out a little bit
ipwnallmen 10
spongebong hempants? Is that you? X3 Hows Hashbrick and Mr. Crack?
Peroxide 3
lol
nood_fml 0
lawl! POTBROWNIES!! WOOT!
todo350 0
how the **** can you inhale brownies you stupid mother ******?
liray 4
I lol'ed at todo's comment. how true.
mygreenhoodie 0
inhale a special brownie? sounds like you should go study dumb bitch
xleanne_aLly 23
she probably means to eat it really fast. waste of the brownie part though, you'd barely even taste it.
camiftw 1
you dont inhale brownies, you eat them
skilova4lifezzz 19
Inhale is also slang for eat quickly.. You just got outsmarted by a high school student.
TrollTrollTroll 0
Toasty
ImASHMARTcookie 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
pot ***** peoples lives, remember that or I'll get my pet ellephant to rape you
ipwnallmen 10
wtf, 8? lol
lilmisslovely13 15
Okay, so i basically skipped over all the medical crap. I dont care about how its smoked, or the different types of addictions or whatever. All i know from 7th grade health class is that pretty much drugs in general (including pot) are bad. Also my family has had to deal with the affect of a marijuana addiction, and its not fun. So basically everyone can just shut up about all that other crap.
carbivore 10
Everything is addicting. Sex is addicting, skydiving...anything. Just because some people have a problem with it is no reason to condemn it for everybody. These are adults we're talking about here. Also, "I know from 7th grade that all drugs are bad." is pretty much the worst argument I've ever heard. Didn't you know that programs like DARE deliberately over exaggerate the dangers of drugs to keep kids away? The point is, start thinking for YOURSELF once in a while, and you might just have some reasonable views
ipwnallmen 10
ouch.... well you were able to walk away from a potentially dangerous and lehal habit. On the plus side, your Mom really cares about you :) and you respect her enough to come clean no matter how long ago it was you tried it. youre part of a majority of people who did it at leats once.
ubuntunix 1
Cannabis is neither dangerous nor lethal, and I believe a "habit" would consist of more than one use. Fool.
Ninotori 0
Well, it does not only cause lung cancer, but it also can inhibit the mind in such a way that it can cause problems while driving just like alcohol, and it is also addicting just like alcohol, in essence, the only reason we don't ban alcohol is that it didnt work the first time we tried it. Not that banning pot has done any better, but then again not everyone gets addicted to alcohol, that is something most people can easily control.
medfly 2
"But if it causes cancer, why is it sometimes prescribed to cancer patients?" - here's how medicine is done: when considering a treatment, you consider the pros against the cons. if you're a healthy person, having any cons means it's bad. if you have cancer, then it may be okay even if there are some small problems with it. a chemical slightly increasing the chance of having cancer is not a reason not to use it. CT scans are pretty bad cancer-wise, but they're still used with cancer patients because they pros can outweigh the cons. "but there are no added chemicals in pot like cigarettes have." - there may be. who says your dealer isn't adding any? it's true that you shouldn't smoke and drive. pot can have bad effects on some people, which is why people are against it. some people say there's a link between pot smoking and outburst of schizophrenia, and some people have panic attacks (this you may be familiar with) while on pot, which isn't necessarily a trivial thing. if you consider that and include the fact we're talking about a HEALTHY person, who can't get any health benefits from it, and like we said, may have health problems as a result, then it's clear why it might not be a great thing. that said, I don't think alcohol or tobacco is any better than pot. I'm all for legalisation.
raydot 0
Nope, there is no possible way to develop a physical addiction to marijuana as with pretty much any other type of drug. That's a fact. You can get mentally addicted to it, wherein it provides some sort of emotional support (like people who are depressed and get "addicted" to food to calm their worries), but the compound THC provides no chemical dependency. Also, we didn't outlaw marijuana and alcohol for the same reason. Alcohol was a prohibition movement started by people genuinely concerned with the effect alcohol had on their loved ones. Marijuana was outlawed because the hemp industry was threatening the cotton industry (which at the time was on a skyrocket increase), so the cotton industry essentially pulled some strings to have it made illegal. Ironically, the hemp industry is coming back today and fortunately the cotton industry has no way to stop it. If smoked through a water bong, marijuana has no harmful physical effects. It's really the smoke particles (the paper, the dried fungi, the bits of leaf itself) that are damaging to your lungs. If you eliminate that it's just like inhaling water vapor (which you do all the time). True, marijuana does have adverse affects on your brain, but that's why people enjoy it. Obviously you shouldn't drive after having smoked marijuana, though between pot and alcohol it's been shown that people driving after drinking drive faster, make more rash decisions, and have are more heavily delayed. But, like I said, DON'T DRIVE HIGH. Really it's a conservative media scare about marijuana that causes this irrational fear and this sort of blind parroting. The benefits of marijuana, and the marijuana industry's ability to revive the economy far outweigh the dangers some people insinuate. I just want to say, though, the people who condemn it alongside all drug use (including alcohol and tobacco) I understand your reasoning and respect it. It's just the people that bash pot-smokers and then get hammered that bother me.
iwillalwaysydi 0
How long did it take you to type that???
vhris3838 0
"here's how medicine is done: when considering a treatment, you consider the pros against the cons. if you're a healthy person, having any cons means it's bad. if you have cancer, then it may be okay even if there are some small problems with it. a chemical slightly increasing the chance of having cancer is not a reason not to use it. CT scans are pretty bad cancer-wise, but they're still used with cancer patients because they pros can outweigh the cons." it can't cause lung cancer if you consume it through edibles. "there may be. who says your dealer isn't adding any?" it costs more money to put chemicals in the bud then to just sell it straight off the plant, why would dealers want to waste their money to hurt people? "pot can have bad effects on some people, which is why people are against it. some people say there's a link between pot smoking and outburst of schizophrenia, and some people have panic attacks (this you may be familiar with) while on pot, which isn't necessarily a trivial thing." it has only been proven to bring out the oubursts of schizophrenia, which means you have to have schizophrenia for marijuana to effect you like that
girlygirl666 0
"ON pot"? Really? Is that you Grandma??
medfly 2
tobacco can be smoked through a water bong too (called nargile or hookah), it is still unhealthy that way. it's not just water vapor. while this is specific to tobacco, I think it might still be relevant. "In a June 2004 study, Jane Henley, an epidemiologist at the American Cancer Society, found that men who smoked water pipes had five times the risk of lung cancer as non-smokers." "The hookah ... has become increasingly popular ... WHO says the trend is partly due to "unfounded assumptions" of its safety, and misleading commercial marketing. The agency said a person can inhale more than 100 times more smoke in a hookah session than in a single cigarette. By delivering nicotine, the water pipe can cause addiction. "None of the accessories have been demonstrated to reduce smokers' exposure to toxins or risk of tobacco-related disease and death," WHO said. While further research is required, the health body said those exposed to secondhand hookah smoke appeared to be at risk of the same diseases as those exposed to cigarettes. WHO warned that hookah smoke could also increase the risk of adverse effects during pregnancy."
ipwnallmen 10
lol dont thumb me down cause i speak the truth.. tho i wouldnt mind if u fingered me ;)
Maenad 0
And here in Amsterdam, the Netherlands we have a policy of tolerance on weed.. everybody (18+) can buy it in the shop. I agree, your life sucks.
Ninotori 0
Actualy, yes you can get addicted, because it screws up your brain, and if you want to fel normal, you need it. No, its not like nicotine where you get jitery, but what it does do is force your brain to release those fun hormonse that make you feel really great at a hugely ridiculous level. the brain then freaks out, and resumes, but releasing less and less of it each time you use it, until depressed is your normal, and you need to have the drug to feel any kind of happy. As for hemp, that stuff feels like fricken burlap, i want to know why anyone wouldwant to wear it. And while everyone says that people are smart enough not to drive high or drunk, answer me this. Why is every other traffic stop on cop shows someone driving erraticly because they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Why are so many families torn apart because people werent smart enough not to drive under the influence and they kill or permanently injure someone? I respect your opinion too, but its facts that i care about, not opinion. I don't get hammered in any way by the way. I'm perfectly happy just as myself no matter how poor i get or how terrible my family is. And alcoholic stuff tastes like shit...
raptorjebus 0
actually, marijuana is only addictive to less than five percent of the people that try it.
pmonk 0
If you only care about the facts then why do you only post opinion? How about you back some of your claims up with facts..
koldfire 1
for facts you don't know Jack. there's anti pychotic chemical in weed... either CBC or CBN. can't remember. hemp is soft as ****, I have two shirts and they are just as soft if not softer than cotton. my hemp shoes by ipath are light and the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned. hemp is the future. as for that depression crap, I had depression and anxiety before weed.... I smoke daily.... the only thing it really does is if smoke all day daily is, the front part of your brain shuts down.. the area that controls future plans and thinking ahread. no we don't want half the nation abusing pot but the system is set up pretty well... if your smart enough to make a tiny bit of effort, you can legally smoke..at least in Cali an Washington. plus pot prevent ethanol damage to the brain in 7/8 places..
goingsolo211 8
Actually, pot doesn't release "fun hormones and then starts releasing less and less". That's meth. Pot doesn't even make you high like meth or cocaine, it just makes you calmer and more acceptant. The fun part iS if you get really stoned and start feeling like shit and that feeling like shit is what makes it fun if you're doing it with friends. Wow thats the longest comment I've ever written :o
koolaid541 0
It can only cause lung cancer when u smoke it with a blunt If u smoke it with a joint nothing happens
xerbrus 14
simply put off a patient has cancer it allows the spread of no cancer is present it makes you 4 times more likely to get it. i smoked weed for ten years now that I'm off of it i see more of the long term damage from it
oldwiseguy 0
Was this before or after she had her last drink or prescription med? I bet she then prayed for you and then listened to glen beck or rush (drug addicted) limbaugh!
ipwnallmen 10
lol wha 13? who are you talkin to? i think the comment got wiped out. its ok, you have an opinion and you expressed it *slow clap*