Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
No smoking
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Get back here
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Caught in 4K
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
New kink unlocked
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
Top comments
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
cigarette over sex?!?!
persianjr 15
How is lasting long a bad thing?
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Comments (47)
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
cigarette over sex?!?!
nofreeusernames 10
Exactly what I was thinking
Meaniebobeanie 26
Shitty sex maybe?
badluckalex 23
or op needs to stop smoking. op just be a heavy smoker if he get this much if an urge
mightycocoman 12
Everybody down voted #31, but they're right. If OP has that much of an urge, they're probably super unhealthy from smoking.
brandoneyez1 25
Yeah that's a bad addiction. That bad!
incoherentrmblr 22
Time to switch addictions...
sdroze1389 31
and here come the sanctimonious anti smoking ydi s. so predictable fml.
CoGhostRider 31
If you're having to stop sex for a cigarette I think you should evaluate the benefits of quitting. That would be rock bottom for me.
sdroze1389 31
different strokes for different folks I guess. in all honesty I enjoy smoking more than sex but that's me
little_one 20
Has no one seen the old movies where they have an AFTER sex smoke? I wouldn't want to continue after someone smoked gross.
CoGhostRider 31
If smoking is better than sex you must be in jail....
riffehunter 16
or just not using enough lube
persianjr 15
How is lasting long a bad thing?
your_ma 27
That was a humble-brag. Like "oh my dick is so huge every girl I know wants it and I have to sleep with a different girl every weekend, it's leaving me no free time!"
OnlyAvailableID 28
Actually, to be fair, it can kind of be a bummer. The whole point of sex is to enjoy each other's intimate company in a way that's extremely spiritual as well as physical. If there's no climax to it, no matter how good it feels, it just kind of feels like you're disappointing your partner. ******* for a solid hour and getting nowhere makes you feel selfish, especially when your body physically cannot keep it up anymore to keep trying.
your_ma 27
I think a spiritual connection goes out the window when he says "wait there babe I just need a quick fag, you carry on without me"
Meaniebobeanie 26
I think what he/she meant is that they are surprised that it took them that long to crave another cigarette. At least that's how I took it.
tygerarmy 35
Because of the wording I took it as a humble brag too. Like people said though lasting long can make both partners feel insecure. I can last long, but then if the other person lasts a long time as well, I can't always finish because I've held it for too long.
marcranger 29
What makes your comment even more spiritual-connection killing, 20, is that in the U.S., we never use "fag" to mean a cigarette. :p
little_one 20
Honestly I've heard a good percentage of girls can't climax during sex so if OP is a girl that's less surprising and less bragging to say it took that long to finish. Although I'm confused if you can't cum during intercourse... Wouldn't you just want foreplay and nothing else? No wonder some girls just lie there lol.
smokecloud_ 37
I almost never get off from the actual intercourse, only from the foreplay. I still enjoy sex and don't just 'lie there'. I don't always care if I get one or not because I still effin' love *******. It's awesome.
1dvos_grl3 21
I've dated a guy who never lasted more than 5 minutes, I was very disappointed in that cause I was never satisfied. I prefer to have a guy out last me. cause when I'm finished I could finish him off with a blow.
BubbleCobra 6
#49 I say it all the time. then again I'm pansexual and it doesn't bother me or the group I hang out with so :/
your_ma 27
Here's a giant bag of attention #56 ?
Pauline96_fml 20
#52 for some girls just lying there and letting your partner be in control can help
Dumb_dude 35
If it takes to long it starts to hurt. After an hour I generally faked an ****** so he would finally stop. It's not in the internal bits that start to hurt so much for me it's the SIJ and hips that's the problem. Changing positions does not work. Many women can't climax from PIV. Sometimes I literally cannot walk after. My husband was so proud of that, but without an ****** for either of us, it's just not worth it.
little_one 20
#66 when I meant lie there I mean like straight faced making no sound. Like ******* a board. I usually ****** more from sex than foreplay but I guess I'm an oddity. Thank you g-spot! :D
cnbcad 15
I don't know. Can't do it any longer but when I was younger and in better shape 3 hours wasn't unusual. I remember the ocassional cig break, weed break, once a bathroom break, and once my wife passed out from excessive muscle contraction. And passion was not a problem. Youth is wasted on the young.
fivetimeslonger 24
When you're the woman underneath (and on top of, and bent over in front of...) a man who lasts a long time... It can get painful.
cora_theexplorer 4
True that many females can't finish during sex. I still enjoy it though!! My partner is very understanding, but I was very insecure with previous partners.
enginsteve 17
Nothing is better than a cigarette during sex...
tony1891 22
you need to get laid.
sicksadworld1317 30
Nothing is better than a cigarette after sex. Get your priorities straight . . .
EpicCrazyBitch 12
Hell yeah, I have to agree with you!
your_ma 27
Honestly you couldn't wait till after? The sex mustn't be very good..
sweetnsourrr 11
Obviously, lol.
2ndSucks 15
I wish my boyfriend lasted that long..
hacksaw246 24
Ouch.. Hope he don't got fml
EpicCrazyBitch 12
Lmao!
royal_ranger 12
How is that fact that you last long bad?
sweetnsourrr 11
Lasting too long can get boring...
ZombieSazza 34
Lasting long is fine if you know what you're doing, otherwise it can get boring if you make it all about you.
Pstraka6 20
Both aren't bad brother. A lot of people crave having a cigarette during or after sex because it feels fantastic and since when was lasting long a bad thing. Take your break and get back in there!
worldclassrager 41
Usually people smoke afterwords...think of it as a reward
Mr23 9
You need a reward for sex now? What is the world coming to?
ligerzero459 24
Bonus: you got out of obviously crappy sex, so that's a win /s