Juan
Tense
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
TerribleAddiction
United States
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Anonymous
Great prank, dear
Today, my Xbox blew up. Apparently my wife thought a good prank was to Sellotape the fan holes, because a YouTuber told her it makes Xboxes crash repeatedly. Well, it didn’t crash, it melted some of the casing, caught fire, which also set fire to the bookcase it sits on, the wall, and our 50 inch TV. FML
tanksfan
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
India
Caught in 4K
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Renewed energy
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
just lemme smash
Damn, girl!
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Spockx
Hamilton, New Zealand
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
alexbobalex
Aland Islands
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Anonymous
The lawnmower man
Today, as proof that my wife does not belong around me when I’m working, she decided to lean over my shoulder to ask me something, whilst smoking, while I was putting petrol in my lawnmower. She almost blew my face off, then claimed it was my fault for spilling it. STOP SMOKING, WENCH. FML
Anonymous
Lint kills
Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML
Top comments
mike3775 39
I hope you are looking for a divorce attorney. I know how bad it can be when quitting cigarettes, but to destroy personal property of the spouse is unacceptable
FluffythePink 23
Married or not, I'd have called the cops. That's coming up on a minimum of 2 grands worth of vandalism/destruction of property. Zero excuse or reason for it.
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Comments (3)
mike3775 39
I hope you are looking for a divorce attorney. I know how bad it can be when quitting cigarettes, but to destroy personal property of the spouse is unacceptable
FluffythePink 23
Married or not, I'd have called the cops. That's coming up on a minimum of 2 grands worth of vandalism/destruction of property. Zero excuse or reason for it.
BB_Skylar 22
Nothing could justify that, but WHY?? Was it an act of solidarity, "if i quit nicotine by husband should quit gaming!" or was she mad at you, and she decided to hit you where it really hurt? Jokes on her you're gonna buy new ones now anyway. I would really try marriage counseling. i could never get over something like that without harboring at least a little resentment.
mike3775 39
Counseling isn’t going to help. Destroying his stuff crosses a line that never should be crossed. I could never stay with anyone who destroyed my stuff like that