Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML
Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML
Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML
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Top comments
Happygofucky 0
Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!
Woodsy007 0
wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.
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Comments (323)
GODs_uncle 1
Wow really, giving up sex to stop smoking?!? I thought marriage made you give up sex!?!
tboudre 0
yep!!
TomFeltonFan 0
you meant: put that in your pipe, smoke it, and then have sex with the pipe, to show her what she's missing. (: (that made no sense XD)
OMG_N3RD 0
That sucks
jorrrk 0
one solution prostitute
HarlemzAngelita 0
well if it was sum good d**k she wouldn't give it up I'm JS haha
Alicia17C 2
lol exactly what I thought! YDI for being bad in bed.
seanders 10
Stuck up *****^^
blloyd420 5
****** faget
Woodsy007 0
wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.
HarlemzAngelita 0
I would sheeeeeeiiiiiitttttt lol
Woodsy007 0
don't we all do that anyways? but yeah I know what you meant.
chrisauh 4
SUCH A PRUDE I feel bad for your future husband/wife
DiamondFinish 0
Fat Beiber. I LOL'd.
una_persona 0
Who said he was giving up sex? :)
attatood 8
Yep, just because she is giving up sex doesn't mean he has to. Women tend to think that just because they're married, they get to say when their man can have sex... not true. Women have no right to withhold that from their husband otherwise he has the right to get it elsewhere.
justanotherbird 19
^You sir, are a flaming idiot. Yes, marriage is about fidelity, so it is NOT right for a husband/wife to go cheat on their significant other. And no, it's not right for ANYONE in a relationship (and yes, men do this too) to withhold sex, but that is where communication comes into play. It's idiots with stupid beliefs like you that make the divorce rate so high. People looking for a quick fix rather than working through things. In any case, it's not like the wife is doing this for a petty reason, like she is mad at him for something. She is trying to break a very bad habit, which is not easy, and he should be supportive. It's not like it will be forever and most likely won't even be for that long. Probably a few weeks at most. What he needs to do is communicate with her and discuss other options to let off his steam if it is a big issue for him. I am actually experiencing the same thing as the husband is right now. My boyfriend let me know last week that he needs to key down on the sex for several weeks since it will help him with quitting. Did I decide that this was grounds for cheating? No, I am supportive of him and even though it drives me crazy, as I have a very high sex drive, it is important to him and I have the intelligence to control myself. I'm not going to be a stupid **** face about it, unlike you.
HedgeSquid 18
why does it say you are single on your profile?
mandel2000 0
i just hate when people doing *hugs* or *kisses* or *smiling* or other peddothings, so irritaiting and creepy.
ciarafox9 9
aww :( your poor wife is tryin to do a good thing. be happy for her it's hard
phatdaddy62 23
yea it's hard. No Sex!
phatdaddy62 23
yea it's hard. No Sex!
MissBunny25 0
actually, it's not hard.
chrisauh 4
169. it's not hard for you because you are a prude.
MizzErikaHart 8
oh ya, I'm sure that's y it's hard.... smh
Woodsy007 0
thank you, finally someone who understands. if giving up smoking means giving up sex, isn't it better for her because it's extending her life and bettering her health. but no no all about Mr Cry Baby who is just going to die without sex.
amadais 1
whoever says smoking is better than sex are total virgins