Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Freaky
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
TMI, DUDE!
Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Karma police
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Was it worth it?
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Top comments
A1BROS 4
Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
itwasthedognotme 14
Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..
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Comments (276)
FML_67fg 1
50 shades of terrifying
SnowFangedBeauty 19
well shit....kinky and not in a good way
ultra_notorious 26
sounds like she wants to peg you. be a good sport and go for it!
zmearle13 5
Prepare your anus.
SparksTheSadie 18
Don't worry, it's quite fun. I wish my wife would do it...
southernpride567 8
Bend over and grab your ankles bish.
madie_8 10
What's a strap on
ThatSweaterGuy 6
That could only mean two things :/
ckcknight 13
We need the OP to follow up. How did he find out about it. I mean did she just walk in drop it on the table and leave him there afraid to move. Did he over hear her talking to a friend. I mean as much as it sounds like he may be getting the shaft, it could be something completely different.
ColonelCusswords 24
RUN ************!!!