possibly fucked
Lisbon, Portugal 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Freaky
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
TMI, DUDE!
Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML
Jim
Winfield, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML
Anonymous
Hatfield, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Karma police
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Was it worth it?
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
jigglypluff
Omaha, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
thedoc
Amarillo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Top comments
A1BROS 4
Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
itwasthedognotme 14
Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..
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Comments (276)
imwagdc 15
Maybe you're just not cuttin it anymore and this is for you to wear...food for thought OP
ChristianH39 30
It's probably better than having it used on him, but not by very much...
King_Nero 15
12- but if that was the car it would have been much better for his wife to talk to him about it first.
evolute72113 9
We must pray for this poor soul
cakefete2 31
Not just his soul. We should pray for the hole of him too.
dramaticsamsam 2
look on the bright side ... it could be used for double penatration for her or ur just not satisfying enough so shes got a lesbo lover
slyde32 12
how is that the bright side???
mistertbawk420 10
He's not getting boioinged in his hey now. sounds bright to me
tjaded 6
"in his hey now" made my day!
BloodyGirlJuli 0
Kinky
AloysiusWeasley 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for nagging her about anal until she finally gave up and let you have it. Turnabout is fair play! :D
michael_shaqson 5
yah OP deserves it for shit you just made up off the top of your head, lol
AloysiusWeasley 15
Fine, maybe she was reading too much 50 shades of twilight.
whackingsoup 9
bite the pillow she's going in dry!
Dave_Davington 34
You'd better not shout, you'd better not cry You'd better not pout she's going in dry.
BossMindedFemale 20
OP's wife is coming from behinnnnd.
gjikvtj 18
She's strapping it on, checking it twice Gonna find out if it was worth the price
thelittlemissy 29
OP don't know if he's been naughty or nice
siniclehamster 16
Rudolph the red holed husband walking around in agony... Rudolph with your hole so bright wont you guide it in tonight...
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Maybe she wants to share a friend.
mistertbawk420 10
You have been watching too much ****
Nessco 36
Maybe she want you to use it on her.
BloodyGirlJuli 0
What goes around comes around! But in your case you musnt forget what goes in always comes out ;). Try not to squish your butt to tight thatll just make it worse D:. And it dosent make you gay since its only plastic...
laden_swallow09 35
Only a third of your comment made any sense.
91hayek 31
Don't FML while drunk! There is a man's anus at risk here!
asnakelovinbabe 16
51 your profile pic made your comment hilarious.
inner_peace 19
Don't turn your back on her now, OP