possibly fucked
Lisbon, Portugal 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Freaky
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
TMI, DUDE!
Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML
Jim
Winfield, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML
Anonymous
Hatfield, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Karma police
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Was it worth it?
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
jigglypluff
Omaha, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
thedoc
Amarillo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Top comments
A1BROS 4
Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
itwasthedognotme 14
Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..
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Comments (276)
makkarari 18
You know what they say, a males prostrate ****** is by the far the biggest ****** he'll have, so open your mind... You might be for a big surprise and enjoy it!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
His mind isn't the only thing that'll need opening.
makkarari 18
Some people need to open their minds. It's their minds saying what's right and wrong that preventing them from really enjoying what's out there. Some kink can really open the doors to whole new levels of pleasure!
asnakelovinbabe 16
If he doesn't want things shoved up his asshole, then he doesn't. Sometimes it's not about having an open mind. It's just that he knows what he wants, and things in his ass aren't one of them.
Merylwen 24
No one used the words "right or wrong" before you did. And just because he doesn't want to do something doesn't mean he is closed-minded.
makkarari 18
I'm not saying he has to try it, I'm just saying people are so scared to open their minds to the possibility of new things that they might actually end up enjoying. Same thing with women. Some women find having things shoved up their butts abhorrent, or even say bondage, but once they try it, actually like it. Society has made it so people have it in their minds what's right and wrong so they are scared to try new things. Not saying he has to, just saying he might like actually like it if he tries it!
ninety 25
It has nothing to do with not being open minded or afraid to try new things. Some people just have zero interest in some things.
2i1337i2iscore 13
36-Who are you to judge people as close minded? And if you are not using this specific scenario as an example, then who are these people you are talking about? I hate people who impose their values on other people in the name of open- mindedness. It's the biggest hypocrisy. Why is everything about society this or society that... What happened to individual choice? Always the self proclaimed "open minded" people who instantly show how closed minded they are in their judgements of others.
jellybear28 13
At least it's not real. :')
Gweedo65 16
Lesbian couple?
LlamaCheesecake 10
Run!
lifein2014 13
somebody wont be able to sit down tomm ⊙_⊙
Zebediabolical 45
I've used a strapon before, filled both holes at once. It's a little awkward, but still fun.
RoseCrystal 17
your profile picture says it all.
Fr0gs 15
.. When you least expect it OP
91hayek 31
Ask her why. It's odd that she would do it out of the blue without asking you first. Unless it has nothing to do with you. Maybe its a gag gift or she's going short on strap-ons; still, ask anyway.
stranget 5
Run buddy just run
weveallbeenthere 30
before you run, make sure its not for one of her girlfriends.