Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML
Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, I pretended to be texting to avoid talking to an old classmate I saw at the grocery store. Unfortunately, my phone rang while I was “texting.” It was the classmate. I had no choice but to answer, while we were both standing 10 feet apart. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML
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Top comments
Runninvegan 8
Time to hit up the Chloroform....
Bunnehs 0
YDI for thinking that being drunk makes you cool.
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Comments (81)
skyiscool 0
HAHA you dont know how to party
skyiscool 0
What happens when the timer goes down
touch_the_sky 7
3 - it's the amount of time you have to edit your post
Keyman1212 14
Just say you were REALLY drunk, or come clean. Maybe if you tell them the truth, they might hang out with you. Never hurts to try.
ImmaB3AST 7
Drinking doesn't make you cool. Now textin everybody saying your with some hot ass girl. now that's cool! use your head!
FMMFL1992 3
just pretend you were too drunk to realize who you were hanging out with
abbyelizabeth 9
It's the oldest trick in the book to know who the person is with. Idiot, YDI!
zuzupetalsYO 11
Why do you have to be, or pretend to be drunk, to impress your friends? I guess you should keep them as friends so that you'll all have an AA buddy in ten years.
emmaa3451 11
Blame it on the alcohol..:p
Runninvegan 8
Time to hit up the Chloroform....
YdoIhaveAchode 4
You must be the awkward guy/girl of the group! so nobody wants to party with you!
salvorican 24
I'm usually the awkward one in the group but that doesn't stop my friends from asking if I want to join every once in a while ^.^
MegumiStarr 13
I can relate to that :D
K_kanaka 26
Smooth man really smooth. Note: the is sarcasm in the tone of my voice
Doortje 30
Ooooh, that's what it was! I really couldn't figure that out on my own, thanks!
wordnerd42 0
I couldn't hear it over the troglodytic lack of any structuring comma. Or whatever a nerd says after pulling an all-nighter.
bratprince 0
Sarcasm overload
ItsTheKing 10
@5 and every other ****** that does this. "Your comment was funny (sarcasm)." I THINK WE KNOW! THERE WAS NOTHING smooth about this situation so I'm pretty sure we could tell. What does that mean? THAT WE ******* KNOW ITS SARCASM. You know it would have been slightly funnier if you didn't point OUT the sarcasm. It would take a complete idiot to not figure that shit out. Now I Great, now i lost my shit.
RaineLee 5
You gotta get outta the house & socialize :) Loosen up.
bettyc4 26
Ya it was real awkward when you said you were with me . There was absolutely No way I could have saved your ass buddy. Fyl.
P374RD3D 9
This is not funny people do this too much
docscientist 10
Why would you give specifics, especially of names the people you're texting know. You must not think things through.
Spoonz 4
Your obviously an expert
Jovecove 13
Not a grammar Nazi, but '' You're ''.
WarmPigBelly 4
When people lie they tend to give more details.
ciarafox9 9
Caught out OP!
steviesnm 6
Ydi. I see no point in faking a drunk text to someone. I dont think that changes their perspective on your social life, other than maybe thinking you're a drunk loser. Unless you gave them a reason to think otherwise, I'm sure they already assumed you had a life to some extent. Again, ydi. Naming names of people who were "with you" was even worse.
touch_the_sky 7
"omkkkkgvvv u guizeeee I'm so fkn druybk rite now"
touch_the_sky 7
Why was that moderated?