possibly fucked
Lisbon, Portugal 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Average Lover
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Freaky
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
TMI, DUDE!
Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML
Jim
Winfield, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
No kinkshaming, but come on…
Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML
Anonymous
Hatfield, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Karma police
Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Was it worth it?
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
jigglypluff
Omaha, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
thedoc
Amarillo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
No kink-shaming on FML
Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML
Top comments
A1BROS 4
Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
itwasthedognotme 14
Time to strap-on your seatbelt and drive far, far away..
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Comments (276)
Nickoli42 3
Give it a shot. You might just enjoy it!
EvilLittleMan 23
OP, be ready to go from (_*_) to (_0_) in six seconds flat.
KatyLarae 13
That's your cue to leave
mutantproudish 16
Well it sounds like you need to strap-in for a bumpy ride!
FroggerForReal 11
I guess she misinterpreted when you said you wanted to spice things up. Sorry OP I guess there's gonna have to be some awkward talk about this.
Ray_of_midnight 23
I'd be about fifty miles beyond turned on.
DivinePrince 18
YDI, If you don't like it, tell her yourself.
irocksox2014 13
I read that as fifty shades of terrifying lol
ohSNAPyall 27
You gotta pay the troll toll.
hamusta 13
I wonder why it's okay (I'm not saying op does this) for a man to try to talk a woman into anal sex but if she wants to try it on him it's suddenly the worst thing that could ever happen.