Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, my mom introduced me to everyone we met as her "special needs child." They all seemed to believe her. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML
Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, I visited a waterpark with friends. At one point, a woman floating near me suddenly says to me, "How are you doing, honey?" Instinctively, I replied, "I'm well". The woman gave me a strange look and I turned around to find she was talking to her child directly behind me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Your mom is just dreadful.
txgirl09 5
Oh parents. They're too much.
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Comments (93)
txgirl09 5
Oh parents. They're too much.
brigittebabe09 0
lmfao! parents always have to ruin things.
flakes_fml 0
ydi for having a mom
rwac07 0
ahh shit, ur black aren't u op (no racism intended)
dylan211996 0
ok bro y was u wit cha moma at da amuzement park
C4R0L1N3 0
I kind of want to kill you. Use your English.
saranottelling 7
cuz he waz der wit his family at da amuzement park, spending sum time wit dem. (I'm practicing my bad spelling and sentence structure)
Mest_Is_Wicked 0
suck a dick, choke on it, and die.
Crasken 0
you'd just love seeing him do that wouldn't you
itskaleebaby 0
I totally agree. Use proper English please.
baby_val 0
wow.. bitchy much
depotst 0
lmao I thought the same thing
redsox4021 0
yo g I be wonding de same thang. son u be axing fo trouble goin to de park wit yo fam. they be always embarssing you son go wit yo peeps homie dats de wey te go
zakh508 0
hellz yah, tell 'im
lookslikemohamme 0
hay redsox u spelt trubble liek a dumass
nebula748 14
Don't you mean, "ay me breda, why you dun go to da' 'musemen' park, seen?"
B47m4n 0
how are u gunna come up and say that all black people talk like that, thats just ignorant you moron
Lawlihearttigers 5
Stupid. Just stupid.
trueblue170 13
#2 - I'm very tempted to throw a dictionary at you, good sir.
perdix 31
Your mom is just dreadful.
RandomFool 5
How Punny
bridgette5866 0
Hahahaha. Puns make me literally LOL.
Sirin_fml 47
I can just see this happening; a huge Jamaican-style guy with dreadlocks, smoking a joint the size of a rolled-up newspaper getting both ****-blocked and praised as an angel by his tiny, frail old mother.
Neferria 0
In Israel, no less.
Sirin_fml 47
It's a strange world, but that would add to the scene, wouldn't it? Maybe if he was drowning in fake gold chains, other bling, and packing some obvious heat, it'd be more plausible...? ... Nah.
bawse 0
RACIST
epoh_fml 0
moms FTW! I hope to one day embarrass my toddler the same way :) Only the keepers will stick around.
scottvodka 0
maybe he just wants a ****, not a keeper.
josephbrandon 1
that's what you get for having dreadlocks
youthink_fml 0
agreed
dylan211996 0
ay girl chill out
perdix 31
Would you rather her say, "You dirty ****** better leave my little boy's penis alone?"
allmidnighteyes 11
"You dirty ****** better leave my boy's little penis alone" word placement is crucial.
Newbie21 1
m4d_h4tT3r 0
lmfao at allmidnighteyes. that was great. epic fail for you. probably wouldn't have landed the girls anyways with your mum there. :]